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YOUR ARTICLE; HOW DO I BECOME A MALE PORNSTAR

Dear sir,

I got you there, didn't I? Admit it, the first glance at 'dear sir' made you sigh like a woman after she spends two hours on an unrewarding task (not my penis, I meant baking cupcakes that came out poorly, Jesus lady).

I just loved your article and wanted you to know that. I've never had what people consider a normal career and for some time I looked at porn as a sort of 'why not?'. I'm not particularly attractive, I don't have a particularly large penis and I have more headaches than most women. Entirely unsuitable, but it still fascinates me. Which is why I googled how to enter the adult industry. Unfortunately size restrictions make my white boy's 8 too small.

I think to some degree there's an allure we can't resist, as if, when the camera starts rolling the curtains fall away and there's not 20 guys standing around you watching you pump a poor 18-year old girl into her next manic depression.
Deep down we know it's not true, but we like to lie to ourselves. By we I mean men. All men. No exceptions.

So I know you have a ton of other things to do, and you'll probably toss the email. But if you do happen to read it, I'd be really interested in some just... mailing you. Asking you stupid questions people have asked you a million times before. And I hope you'll indulge me, if only for the sake of your entertainment.

Thank you, Susannah.