YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG

Breaking news out of Hamilton, Ohio, care of the local newspaper's police blotter: 

A man walked into CVS, 820 S. Breiel Blvd., and walked out with a box of condoms, bottle of lubricant, five Slim Jims and an A&W Root Beer, valued at $65.71. The suspect left the store and rode off on a bike.

[Journal-News