ALL THE NEWS THAT'S UNFIT TO PRINT: 11.30.13

"How did you first realize that you had a big dick?" [The Hairpin]

The mile-high club comes with a very discreet pilot. [Gizmodo]

Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer [PandoDaily]

How a woman in a Nascar pit crew works out. [NYT]

This infomercial isn't selling you a blender. [Twitter]

Tito Ortiz traded in Jenna Jameson for this babe. [Instagram]

Neanderthals were swingers. [New York Post]

Stick out your tongue. [WSJ]

Car porn. [Forbes]

But who will wear the naked Oprah dress to the Oscars? [The Cut]

What condoms and fish skin have in common. [Death and Taxes]

"This is about capitalism." [The Price of Sex]

Git 'er. [GIF]

The MPAA does not like your female sexual pleasure. [Defamer]

Fuck the earth. [Craigslist]

Bands Who Posed Topless Together for Album Covers. [Daze Reader]

This is the dope game. [Newcity]

Chuck Palahniuk is a fan of Sex Criminals. [Twitter]

Japan cannot get enough of your porn. [Mike South]

Nice Face but the Cunt? considered. [Blog]