All the News That's Unfit to Print: 12.28.13

What did we get stuck in our rectums this year? [Deadspin]

IamA Ex Porn Photographer/Videographer AMA! [reddit]

Celebrity Close-Up: Cara Delevingne. [Celebrity Close-Up]

What really builds strong bones. [Instagram]

Ainu's women's tattooed lips. [Sang Bleu]

Get a sneak peek at HBO's upcoming "Sex//Now." [Vulture]

An afternoon in a Pakistani porn theater. [GMA News]

I guess she's a Blackhawks fan. [Ylva]

"I'm adult film actor/performer jackhammer." [Prison Pen Pals]

Fashion or porn? [Refinery29]

Erectile dysfunction exposed. [Forbes]

Salad-tossing explained. [Playboy]

Californication. [Anoush Abrar]

You're not using condoms. [The Cut]

Cybill Sheperd & Martin Scorsese = "Taxi Driver." [ThisIsNotPorn]

Either way, you're screwed. [Romenesko]

Her boobs are so big. [Instagram]

Malaysia's foodcentric "Sex and the City." [WSJ]

Obamacare heroin gets you high. [Forbes]

Massive attack of the pole dancer. [YouTube]

All the News That's Unfit to Print: 12.14.13

Fashion Copious

Fucking a drone isn’t like what you’d think. [Clarkesworld]

This journalist knows why strippers hate their jobs. [Slate]

You're dating a porn bot. [Pando]

The mirror has two faces and so does this guy. [Fashion Copious]

It's the scholarly journal on porn for which you have been waiting. [NYT]

How to Photoshop the Flashdance girl. [Digital Arts]

What models think. [YouTube]

The glamorous life of a porn store clerk. [Salon]

"Moral disgust has all too often been put to immoral ends." [Nautilus]

Lizzy Caplan gets hammered. [USA Today]

So much for PlayStation sex shows. [Engadget]

Walgreens stopped selling a zombie dildo. [Walgreens]

Do not invite this guy to your orgy. [WSJ]

Tom Jones interviews Kate Moss. [Playboy]

Idiot with elf ears heckles Terry Richardson. [Instagram]

ATLAS the robot is coming for your women. [YouTube]

Lady Gaga uses a scorpion as a pastie. [Karl Is My Unkle]

Well, it certainly wasn't James Deen's fault. [Radar]

This is a personal kill. [TMN]

Chanel Preston has been naughty. [Instagram]

ALL THE NEWS THAT'S UNFIT TO PRINT: 12.7.13

Lil Wayne skateboards and watches porn at the same time. [Instagram]

An adult performer tests positive for HIV; a moratorium on shooting begins. [LAT]

Bloomberg's Stop and Kiss Program proves controversial. [Onion]

The fapping infographic for which you have been waiting. [Project Know]

Is that a cucumber or are you just happy to see me? [The Cut]

"Woolf of Wall Street" latest casualty of MPAA's anti-sex campaign. [THR]

The new editor of Mental Floss used to be in the smut business. [NYT]

"My porn-ness ruined my life at times," reports former gangbang queen. [Fox News]

Bruce Lee's yellow-and-black jumpsuit sells for $100,590. [WSJ]

"The Pervert's Guide to Ideology" trailer. [YouTube]

Mrs. Ice-T is getting into the sex toy business. [TMZ]

Who's that girl? [Instagram]

He thought it would perhaps be the Porn Star Life. [Arena]

Louis Theroux returns to Porn Valley 15 years after his first visit. [Documentary Jungle]

"Other jobs I’d had were physically rigorous—washing dishes, for example—and none of them paid anything compared to stripping, so how could I complain?" [Salon]

God bless America. [MoS]

Kids tell dirty jokes. [Vice]

"We are not victims, we are adventurous sex goddesses!" [Guardian]

ESPN tries not to suck. [Romenesko]

Now that's a showgirl. [YouTube]

ALL THE NEWS THAT'S UNFIT TO PRINT: 11.30.13

Maybe you did

"How did you first realize that you had a big dick?" [The Hairpin]

The mile-high club comes with a very discreet pilot. [Gizmodo]

Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer [PandoDaily]

How a woman in a Nascar pit crew works out. [NYT]

This infomercial isn't selling you a blender. [Twitter]

Tito Ortiz traded in Jenna Jameson for this babe. [Instagram]

Neanderthals were swingers. [New York Post]

Stick out your tongue. [WSJ]

Car porn. [Forbes]

But who will wear the naked Oprah dress to the Oscars? [The Cut]

What condoms and fish skin have in common. [Death and Taxes]

"This is about capitalism." [The Price of Sex]

Git 'er. [GIF]

The MPAA does not like your female sexual pleasure. [Defamer]

Fuck the earth. [Craigslist]

Bands Who Posed Topless Together for Album Covers. [Daze Reader]

This is the dope game. [Newcity]

Chuck Palahniuk is a fan of Sex Criminals. [Twitter]

Japan cannot get enough of your porn. [Mike South]

Nice Face but the Cunt? considered. [Blog]

ALL THE NEWS THAT'S UNFIT TO PRINT: 11.23.13

Twitter

Anthony Weiner's sexting pal Sydney Leathers is going to auction off a body part. [TMZ]

Porn star Houston did that over a decade ago. [Arena]

Riff Raff chillin with Hef. [Terry's Diary]

Invisible panties require $9,955 to meet Kickstarter goal. [Kickstarter]

Did you see the "Nymphomaniac" trailer before YouTube pulled it? [Likemotion]

Welcome to the Institute of Oral Love. [Twitter]

The Nuclear Regulatory Commission enjoys porn. [Washington Times]

You're so sexy when you aren't transmitting STDs. [This Might Hurt]

Clayton Cubitt shot Rick Ross for The Source. [Instagram]

"Webcamming is the newest evolutionary form of selling sex appeal." [Tricksy Tangy]

Cara Delevingne likes to play soccer. [The Cut]

He was her drama teacher -- and a porn star. [Salon]

Name your persona. [Nowness]

Underwear flash mob, briefs edition. [BuzzFeed]

Jack Ruby ran a strip club. [Slate]

"The sight of two bearded men crocheting on either end of a long, floppy phallus or umbilical cord gets a variety of responses from audiences." [Chicago Reader]

Seven streakers share their stories. [Extra Mustard]

An Apple-banned comic book introduces "Obamacore" porn. [AV Club]

Vacuum-wrapped couples are closer. [Feature Shoot]

Thanks to Indie Nudes, Fleshbot, and Egotastic for the link love!

ALL THE NEWS THAT'S UNFIT TO PRINT: 11.16.13

Models like to flip off the camera. [Fashion Copious]

Confusing: "Paul Little Net Worth is$Billion." [Get Net Worth]

You can hardly wait for the debut of Stoyaville. [Clayton Cubitt]

Did you enjoy the XXX-mas episode of "Sports Sesh" as much as I did? [HBO]

Helmut Newton's Parisian call girl. [All Tomorrow's Girls]

"They have deemed the 'sex boxes' highly successful." [NY Daily News]

She's having a shit day, thanks. [Wheretoget]

You are a sexual deviant. [Amazon]

Waiting for Tom Ford Viagra. [This Isn't Happiness]

This guy's driving around with a giant black dildo affixed to the top of his car. [YouTube]

Apparently, "proto-pornographic" is a thing. [THR]

Renew your subscription to Girls and Corpses now. [TMN]

Social media at the New York Times is a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it. [Twitter]

Rick Ross has no time for your games. [YouTube]

Kate Upton considers dating Vincent Chase. [The Wrap]

Watch Jenna Jameson smash home surveillance cameras. [Radar]

"She was soon asked to create 1,000 'fake female profiles.'" [Above the Law]

White folks do the darndest things. [MediaTakeOut]

Yahoo is selling facial.com. [Fast Company]

William Vollmann is a drag. [NYT]

ALL THE NEWS THAT'S UNFIT TO PRINT: 11.10.13

Wall Sushi 

Dear Sex Worker Customer: Don't do this. Love, Your Sex Worker. [Tits and Sass]  

Photos from the heyday of New York's Area nightclub. There is a nudity. [New York] 

Is HBO giving you the shaft? Let's check the boobs infographic. [HBO Watch] 

Don't forget to wash your hands first. [The Onion] 

Kate Upton wears body paint, frolics. [TMZ]  

Banksy hit the Hustler Club. The subject is a "lovelorn loser." [New York Post]  

Someone got randy with the loaves at Whole Foods. My report. [Twitter]  

When paying an escort, Litecoins are the new Bitcoins. [Northern Jewels] 

A gay-for-pay porn star murders a millionaire, and the American dream unravels. [Miami New Times]  

The Gray Lady does not enjoy your Bob Guccione documentary. [New York Times]