Lucky Star

According to RubMaps, Lucky Star is closed. But the day I was there, the flashing sign was spelling out O-P-E-N.

Like Dong Fang Spa, it's located in southwest Florida. Naples, to be exact.

According to Sarasota Magazine, "Naples is winning the battle for billionaires." In 2011, it had the second "highest concentration of millionaires in the country."

It also has a not insignificant number of massage parlors.

Per RubMaps, the "Masseuse Style" at Lucky Star is "Korean." Payment is cash only. There is no parking for semis. And an hour will cost you $70.

If you have never read them before, RubMaps reviews are a genre in their own right. They're, for the most part, friendly, guy-next-door accounts of visits to massage parlors, littered with double entendres ("my rod"), acronyms (HE = happy ending), and human insights ("She had a bit of a bouncy personality"). Frequently, they comment on house technique ("shew as [sic] trying to churn out some butter") so others can decide if they'd like to patronize the place.

Dong Fang Spa

Asian massage parlors, or AMPs, dot the southwest portion of Florida. They can be found in the area's many strip malls, tucked between home improvement stores and quickie grocery marts. It seems as if they are always open, yet it is hard to spot customers entering or leaving.

Dong Fang Spa is located in Fort Myers, Florida, on a busy thoroughfare called South Tamiami Trail. Other than its name, it is unremarkable.

According to local news outlets, the establishment was busted for prostitution several years ago:

"At one point, the detective grabbed his penis and asked, 'What about this?'

Yu again asked if he was the police, to which the detective replied, 'No.'

Yu stated she would take care of his penis for an additional $80.

At that time, the takedown signal was given and Yu was placed under arrest and charged with prostitution."