Adult actors film a scene, Los Angeles, Calif., 2001 | Photo credit: Susannah Breslin
In my latest newsletter, I try and understand why I take so many photos of feet. Subscribe to get it every week.
About I My Book I Newsletter I X I Instagram I LinkedIn I Consulting I Email
I can’t remember the first time I encountered Barbara Nitke’s American Ecstasy series, but it was a very long time ago. And more recently when I realized I’d never owned the book version, I wasn’t sure why. Then I remembered that I was sick when it was published. So, finally, I ordered it. And this book just dazzles. During my career, I have spent quite a bit of time on adult movie sets as a journalist, and I have never encountered a woman who had a similar experience, which is captured in this magnificent volume. In her own words, the words of the performers and crew, and her dazzling photos, she brings to life the often hidden adult business, what it’s like to insert yourself into its making, and what we can learn when we take the time to look at and listen to a part of capitalist production that due to its preoccupation with erotic fantasy is often misunderstood and frequently vilified. I read and pored over this book at a glacial pace because I didn’t want it to end. This is better than Larry Sultan’s The Valley. This is the real thing.
About I My Book I Newsletter I X I Instagram I LinkedIn I Consulting I Email
Recently I’ve been tracking down print copies of my older work and posting the stories online. The latest is the October/November issue of Nerve magazine. You may remember Nerve.com. For a spell, they published a print magazine. This short piece focuses on one of the most extreme things I saw in the adult industry.
About I My Book I Newsletter I X I Instagram I LinkedIn I Consulting I Email
Awhile back I pitched a story to a podcast. It would involve talking about one of the most out-there, extreme things I ever witnessed as a journalist on adult movie sets (and there were a lot!). The production team requested that I create an audio audition of what the story might sound like. That prompted me to revisit everything I had created that was about that out-there thing: photos, art, writing. I also viewed the adult movies that were created on those sets, which I found on adult streaming sites. During this research process, I re-read “They Shoot Porn Stars, Don’t They?”, which I wrote in 2009 and is about the Great Recession’s impact on the adult industry. I had always felt that I hadn’t gotten the ending right, but when I read it this time, I thought I did. In fact, I think it captures what’s at the heart of my writing on the adult industry: the relationship between fantasy and reality and what happens when you insert yourself into the tension between the two. In any case, I’ll post more thoughts on this audition process down the line. For now, that’s it.
About I My Book I Newsletter I X I Instagram I LinkedIn I Consulting I Email
An adult movie actress poses on a North Hollywood set, 2001. For more of my photos, follow me on Instagram.
About I My Book I Newsletter I X I Instagram I LinkedIn I Consulting I Email
An adult actress reads her script before shooting her scene. For more of my photos, follow me on Instagram.
About I My Book I Newsletter I X I Instagram I LinkedIn I Consulting I Email
“My shtick was that I was the sarcastic one who covered the most deranged, out-there subjects.” Read my latest newsletter, which explores the five years I was on Playboy TV. Subscribe to get it in your inbox weekly.
About I My Book I Newsletter I X I Instagram I LinkedIn I Consulting I Email
A triptych of photographs I’ve taken in Porn Valley, from yesterday’s newsletter. Subscribe to get it every week.
About I My Book I Newsletter I X I Instagram I LinkedIn I Consulting I Email
In the early 2000s, there was a very cool magazine called Arthur. It was edited by Jay Babcock and, per Wikipedia, “featured photography and artwork from Spike Jonze, Art Spiegelman, Susannah Breslin, Gary Panter and Godspeed You! Black Emperor.” Arthur was printed on paper and about all kinds of things: music, art, L.A. In 2003, I wrote an essay for Arthur, “Sex $75,” the title taken from a photo I took of a wall, on Santa Monica Boulevard, upon which someone had scrawled those words. My story was accompanied by some photos I had taken, including on the sets of porn movies. In any case, Babcock has scanned every issue of Arthur and made them available online as PDFs. It was pretty cool to see a piece I had written so long ago. The main photo at the top of the essay I had forgotten about entirely. I took it on the set of a porn movie filmed in a house above the Sunset Strip. When I arrived on the set, I asked if I could take photos of the male porn star, whom I knew, and the female porn star, whom I had just met, while they filmed their sex scene. When the woman hesitated, the male porn star said to her: “She’s cool.” Anyway, thanks for that moment, and for saying that. Time travel is pretty cool, even virtually.
About I My Book I Newsletter I X I Instagram I LinkedIn I Consulting I Email
Girl on a seesaw at a sex expo in the Chicago area. 2013 or so. For more of my photos, follow me on Instagram.
About I My Book I Newsletter I X I Instagram I LinkedIn I Consulting I Email
In my latest newsletter, I talk about The Porn Library and what’s in this evolving archive. Read it and subscribe.
About I My Book I Newsletter I X I Instagram I LinkedIn I Consulting I Email
Image credit: Lanee Bird
In this week’s edition of The Reverse Cowgirl, my Substack newsletter: human furniture is fun, an intimacy coordinator reveals all, the wife of the Gilgo Beach killer speaks, the founder of OnlyFans pivots, the CDC issues body hair guidelines for women, and more. Read it and subscribe to get it delivered to your inbox.
About I My Book I Newsletter I X I Instagram I LinkedIn I Consulting I Email
A panel from a series of comics I created some years ago by manipulating photos I took on an adult movie set.
About I My Book I Newsletter I X I Instagram I LinkedIn I Consulting I Email
Cool to see a photo of mine in Charles Saatchi’s 2015 book Dead: A Celebration of Mortality. I found it on eBay.
About I My Book I Newsletter I X I Instagram I LinkedIn I Consulting I Email
About I Book I Newsletter I X I Instagram I LinkedIn I Consulting I Email
Image credit: Jamie Colette
In this week’s edition of The Reverse Cowgirl roundup: Barbie eats Ken, an OnlyFans model gets savage, Sydney Sweeney wants to share her bathwater, a photographer shoots Japanese love hotels, Michael Fassbender talks fisting gloves, and more. Subscribe to get my newsletter in your inbox weekly.
About I Book I Newsletter I X I Instagram I LinkedIn I Consulting I Email
Gigolos star Nick Hawk, Las Vegas, Nev., 2013 | Image credit: Susannah Breslin
In the process of researching something I started writing for my newsletter but didn’t publish, I came across this 2013 post from Forbes.com that I wrote when was on a “XXX safari” in Las Vegas, Nevada, at the porn Oscars.
*
I learned a few things about journalism doing my series on the porn blitz in Vegas this month, and here they are, in no particular order.
TIP #1: Get the right tools
For the last few years, I've been carrying around those composition books to take notes. That's got to stop. They're too big. If I've got too much stuff going on, I've been known to stick the composition book in the back of my pants. Not my back pocket. Between my back and the inside of my waistband. Not a good look. I need smaller notebooks so I can put them in the pockets of these pants I've been wearing as my "journalist pants" that look like I'm on a safari, only in this case it was like a XXX safari.
I also need to start using the neck strap for my camera. I spent my time in Vegas pulling my camera in and out of my bag. I should probably get over my fear of the neck strap breaking and killing my camera.
Speaking of cameras, I need a new one. Related: If anyone found my lens cap in Vegas, let me know.
I also need a proper bag. I used a bag I think I bought at Payless. It was for shopping at the mall. Not writing stories.
TIP #2: Figure out what you can handle
Before I got to Vegas, I thought I would maybe go back and forth between the convention and the media room and post LIVE FROM THE FRONTLINES. That didn't happen; although, I did walk around that entire first day with my laptop in my bag. Not only did I not post LIVE FROM THE FRONTLINES, I realized that I'm too slow for that. Or in this case I was, at least.
The other big thing was that I was adding taking photographs into the mix. I think I did this because I've been a journalist for 15 years, and I am looking for a new challenge.
At this point, I don't really have any big hangups as a journalist. For example, at one point, I was at the convention, and I was looking for this gigolo. I'd seen him on a panel. He sat at the front of the room with another guy, and the theme of the panel was, "A bunch of people have crossed over from adult to mainstream, but what about people who have crossed over from mainstream to adult?" These guys were supposed to be examples of that. The gigolo is the star of a Showtime show called "Gigolos," and the other guy was a rock star who ended up on "Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew" and then made a celebrity sex tape because "that's what you do."
Anyway, the gigolo's name is Nick Hawk. (That's him in the photo at the top of this post.) He has an entire line of adult products. When Nick was on the panel, he had a bunch of boxes sitting next to him with his products in them, and at one point he said of creating a product that is a reproduction of a part of him, "That was one of the biggest excitements of my life."
After that, I kept looking for Nick, but I couldn't find him. I was standing against a wall because my back was killing me from all the stuff that I didn't need that I was carrying, and then I looked to my left, and there was Nick Hawk, and he was about to walk into the men's room, which was apparently what I was standing right next to.
"HEY," I yelled at Nick, without thinking. For some reason, this was the highlight of my experience as a journalist in Vegas. That I am a person who is willing to shout at a gigolo going into the toilet in order to get an interview. There is no shame in my game. Not at this point.
I hope all young women journalists can learn from my model. That you should always yell at men you want to interview, regardless of their occupation or proximity to the lavatory, because if you don't, you might not get an interview with them, and then you'll be the journalist who went there and got nothing. Which isn't a journalist at all. That's just something else.
"I'm proud to be a gigolo," Nick told me after he came out of the bathroom. "I'm not sure I'd be proud to be a porn star."
TIP #3: Seek help from people who know what they are doing
I really liked going to Vegas because it reminded me who I really am. The hardest part was the taking photographs because my knowledge of photography is limited. Which is an understatement. So the photography stuff I did was time consuming, and sometimes it didn't come out right because I didn't know what I was doing.
When I got home, I made an appointment to hang out with a guy who's a photographer. We sat in a cafe, and he told me how cameras work, and we looked at some of my photos from Vegas that were still on my camera, and we talked about what was right about them and what was wrong about them.
Then we wandered around outside and took some photos. It was cold. The stuff I photographed outside was pretty boring. The stuff in Vegas was way more interesting.
The task he left me with is to do more things like Vegas. And get better. And I think if I can do those things, I'll figure out more who I want to be or whatever I'm becoming.
About I Book I Newsletter I X I Instagram I LinkedIn I Consulting I Email
A zombie on an adult movie set in the San Fernando Valley. For more of my photos, follow me on Instagram.
About I Book I Newsletter I X I Instagram I LinkedIn I Consulting I Email
An adult actress applies her makeup, Canoga Park, 2009. For more of my photos, follow me on Instagram.
About I Book I Newsletter I X I Instagram I LinkedIn I Consulting I Email
The storefront of Lady Love on Hollywood Boulevard. For more of my photographs, follow me on Instagram.
About I Book I Newsletter I X I Instagram I LinkedIn I Consulting I Email