I WANT TO BE A MALE PORN STAR

One of the most popular pieces I've ever written is a post I wrote for Forbes: "The Hardest Thing About Being A Male Porn Star."  

I wrote it one way at first, and then my editor said I should rewrite it in another way, so I did that, and I thought she was wrong, but she wasn't wrong -- she was right. 

At this moment, the post has 945,210 views, and it gets over 1,000 more views every day. Most of its readers come from search. I'm not sure what they're Googling, but my guess is it's some combination of "male" and "porn" and "star."

I took the photo you see here of a guy who was at a porn convention in the Midwest. A lot of guys were wearing T-shirts with racy slogans on them. Another guy's read, "I WOULD CUDDLE YOU SO HARD." I don't know who the men are that like my post on male porn stars so much, but I imagine they are guys like these. Average guys. Guys who like porn. Fans of superheroes, cuddling, and women.

Since I wrote the original post, I've gotten over 100 emails from guys who want to be male porn stars. They email me from across the country and around the world: Florida, Pakistan, Suriname. They have this idea that I can help them break into the adult movie business. That's not what I do, and it's a tough thing to do. These days, especially. Unless you ride in on a girl's coattails, and that's another story altogether.

Sometimes, I email them back. I only write one thing: "Why do you want to be a male porn star?" Sometimes, they reply. Mostly, they say the same thing. They never really explain it. Not in way that I can understand it, anyway. I'm a woman. They're a man. The lack of understanding is the difference between us.

A few days ago, a guy emailed me about becoming a male porn star. "I need to talk to you!" he wrote. "You seem like you have a lot of info that will help me. Send me an email when you have time please." I emailed him back, asking why he wants to be a male porn star. "I like it," he replied. "I want to make money." Not long after, he emailed again. "I find myself into it," he told me. I didn't respond. "Did I mention something wrong?" he wanted to know. He emailed me again. "Are you still there?" he asked. He kept emailing. "Can you please get back with me?" he pleaded. I didn't know what to tell him.