Just Say No

Hello Susannah Breslin,

Thank you for considering [redacted] as a place for your work. Having read and discussed your piece "[redacted]," our readers regrettably do not feel this submission is right for [redacted] at this time.

Image via "The History of 'Epic Fail'"

I want to wish you the best of luck on placing this elsewhere. Please submit your work to us in the future, we'd like to see more from you. We never consider past submissions in our judgement.

I would also like to state the immense amount of submissions we receive. To get to the number of pieces we ultimately publish, we must read hundreds of submissions. Of these, we often find 100 or so are very, very well done. We would be proud to take any of these and publish them, yet even here, we must whittle this number to less than 40%. Please, never take rejection personally, at this level it becomes very subjective.

Thank you for your time and readership.
In solidarity,
[redacted]
[redacted]

I Guess He Didn't Like My Podcast Idea

Hi Susannah--

Thanks for writing and thinking of us for your series idea. However, I don't think it's right for us, so we'll pass.

Best, --[Redacted]

Rejections

"I applaud taking on the porn industry and sickos who exploit women at a level pretty much even with human sex trafficking. It's a nice tale of comeuppance. However, it is mostly just a graphic vignette that doesn't represent what our readers are expecting as they read over their lunch or coffee break. We aren't squeamish about profane content, but when the entire scene is essentially X-rated we don't feel that is a fir for our particular publication."

Quitters Never Win

Dear Susannah, 

Thank you for sending us "[Redacted]." This is an interesting topic, but the piece is missing the connection to a bigger picture idea, the reflection or takeaway that would make it a [redacted] story. 

Best of luck with this, and I hope you’ll pitch us again in the future. To receive future calls for pitches, sign up here: [redacted].

Sincerely, 
[redacted]

If at First You Don't Succeed, Try Again, and Fail Again

The MacDowell Colony

Dear Susannah,    

We regret that we are not able to offer you a residency during this coming Summer 2017 period.  Your work was appreciated by the admissions panel members, but the number of excellent applications has grown as has the competition for residencies.

We hope that this news will not discourage you from applying to the Colony again after two years’ time.

In the meantime, we send you our best wishes.

Sincerely,

[redacted]

Executive Director

Rejection, Reconsidered

I get rejected, a lot. These days, actually, you're more likely to get ignored than rejected. Silence is the new no thanks, the muted good luck placing your work elsewhere, the digital version of please keep us in mind in the future. In any case, this week I received a rejection that was, well, different. To wit (in part, it read): "[Redacted] raised worries about the variety of emotional reactions (and toxic feedback) that it might generate from readers." So, the internet lynch mob is working, I guess. Apparently, editors are shuddering from the chilling effects of invisible morons clambering around social media to create a shit storm about whatever something or other that's offended them lately. Too bad. Life is more exciting when you offend a little, when you knock someone hard enough in the jaw that their head turns and they're forced to see things spinning newly.

Buy THE TUMOR: "This is one of the weirdest, smartest, most disturbing things you will read this year."

I Get Rejections

"Hi Susannah!

I think it's a little too graphic for us to run, but thanks for letting us have a look! We're always open to pitches."

REJECTIONS

Hi Susannah,

Thanks again for the pitch. As proposals go, it's well-done, and you make a good case. [Redacted]'s feeling is that, given all that's been done on porn, the topic doesn't seem novel. Before arriving here more than a decade ago, [redacted] was at the [Redacted] and the [Redacted] and has seen [redacted] share of porn pieces. I know the novelty is in the details, but the bar for porn stories is especially high. That said, I'll be happy to read other ideas that come to you.

Till then…

[redacted]