Z Is for Zombie Sex

I finished The Fetish Alphabet 12 years after I started it, and the final installment is online today: "Z Is for Zombies" (because obviously). It's about a couple who build a McMansion underground (inspired by these nuclear-proof luxury condos, I suppose), and a zombie apocalypse, and a weird sex game they play involving the undead.

"'I have no heart,' she moaned seductively. The front of her peach silk robe fell open, and her mouth gaped. As he watched, she slid on to the floor and waved her arms up and down like she was making snow angels in weather about which they’d forgotten. 'I am undead,' she called and spread apart her legs."

I based the "no heart" comment off a series of heart tests that I had done a few years ago, during one of which I told the tech that he may not be able to find my heart because I was a zombie. I have a video of my heart beating around here somewhere.

It's nice to be done with the alphabet. Finishing things is always a good thing.

[The Fetish Alphabet]

Guntucky

I took this photo in January at the SHOT Show. The man in the photo is Winfred Sumner, also known as Gran-pa Biff Sumner, who appears on CMT's "Guntucky," a reality TV show that focuses on a family-owned shooting range that's "more like a theme park for gun lovers." The show's second season premieres April 15. According to Sumner's bio: "He's small in size but big when it comes to his temper, gun knowledge and lust for the ladies." Earlier this month, Sumner, 77, was arrested for pointing a firearm at a police officer and charged with "alcohol intoxication in a public place and first-degree wanton endangerment of a police officer."

Obama Loves America

In January, I took this photo at the SHOT Show in Las Vegas, Nevada. I shot several photos of men wearing T-shirts with messages on them: "COME AND TAKE IT," "I SHOOT ZOMBIES IN THE FACE," "MINE'S BIGGER THAN YOURS." A vendor who did not want his face photographed was selling T-shirts with slogans on them, including one that read: "CHRISTIAN AMERICAN HETEROSEXUAL PRO-GUN CONSERVATIVE ANY QUESTIONS?"

Duke of Porn

"Once upon a time, porn stars changed their names and compartmentalized their lives. You were one person in the real world — with a birth name, a mortgage, a family — and you were another person in Pornlandia — with a stage name, a box cover, a fan base. Decades ago, it was a way of protecting yourself, your family, and your future from the near unilateral disdain the culture had for your occupation. In recent years, porn stars’ personal information has been disseminated online, making it increasingly difficult to be a porn star with a private life."

[Forbes]