The Hustler Diaries Part 8: How to Get 100,000 Unique Monthly Visitors

One of my goals for May was to reach 100,000 unique visitors a month on my Forbes blog. In fact, I surpassed that. My total unique monthly visitors for May was 114,867. Here’s how I got there.

Catch a ride on a beast

The Forbes website is a digital traffic juggernaut. According to Forbes, the entire site’s monthly visitors for April 2020 was 115 million. That is what is referred to in the digital traffic business as an absolute fuckton of traffic. I actually didn’t realize the traffic was that high. Last time I checked, however long ago, the site’s traffic was something like 80 million monthly visitors. In any case, think of your blog’s platform as you, a person, trying to get across the desert to a fresh water lake with water fountains and a water park. What’s the fastest way to get there? By foot? Or by catching a ride on a chimera that moves as fast as a cheetah, has the size of a woolly mammoth, and is as comfortable as a flight on Singapore Airlines? I am climbing on the chimera, thanks.

Grow your long tail traffic

I have a lot of long tail traffic on my Forbes blog. For me, that means stuff I wrote a long time ago still gets a lot of traffic. I’ve written some very popular posts over the years, ranging from the hardships of male porn stars to how to sell yourself. I still get emails about those posts. It’s all well and good if you want to vomit out seven posts a day on whatever is ranking high on Google, but most of that crap isn’t going to get you much long trail traffic. While trends may change, people generally remain the same. They want to be not bored, they want to find out how to better themselves, and they want to see shit they haven’t seen that makes them feel some kind of way they want to feel. Whatever Jake Paul did recently probably doesn’t fall into that category a few years from now. How to sell yourself does.

Write interesting stuff that’s on brand

Currently, my beat on my Forbes blog is the business of sex. I’ve been writing about sex and the porn industry for over 20 years, so I have a lot of ideas and a lot of connections. But this is Forbes, so it’s not like I’m going to be doling out blowjob advice. In my mind, my content on my Forbes blog is like a Venn diagram. If, very broadly put, Forbes is about business (it’s also about other things, like the economy, work, women, entrepreneurship, and money), that’s one circle. If, very broadly put, my brand is about sex, that’s another circle. The content that appears on my Forbes blog is the intersection of those two, the place where business and sex overlap. That’s my brand. So when I wrote about Lena the Plug, who is an X-rated social media influencer making seven figures a year, that’s about her business. Or when I wrote about how the coronavirus is impacting strippers, that’s about how the pandemic is impacting their bottom line. In this way, I straddle two worlds: The world of sex, in which things are always interesting and engaging, and the world of business, which tends to be covered by boring people in boring ways. Imagine making something boring sexy! It works for me.

I’m an author, editor, and consultant. Want to hire me? Contact me.

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The Hustler Diaries Part 7: How to Make People Click on Your Content

For my latest on @forbes, I interviewed artist @5uperficial, who's making $950 used panty masks to raise awareness about restrictions on access to abortions during the COVID-19 pandemic 👙 Link in bio.

91 Likes, 6 Comments - Susannah Breslin (@susannahbreslin) on Instagram: "For my latest on @forbes, I interviewed artist @5uperficial, who's making $950 used panty masks to..."

Some people call it clickbait. I call it creating content that people want to read. When it comes to getting people to click on content, I am something of an expert. I’ve been hired by billion-dollar global companies to get consumers to do just that. Here’s the thing: You are trying to accomplish a single goal. What is that goal, you may ask? You are trying to get someone to move their finger. To click. That’s it. This isn’t brain surgery, folks. In any case, the secret to getting people to click is getting them to feel something. Desire. Curiosity. Fear. People click because they want to engage, and emotions are what drive engagement.

So, let’s take a look at a recent post from my Forbes blog. I wrote about an artist who is turning her used panties into COVID-19 masks. Ah, yes, you might say, thinking you know why people clicked on this post. (And click they did! 10,000 times.) Because sex sells, you say. Well, sure, maybe the used panties had something to do with it. But I published two other posts on my Forbes blog last week that were about sex, and they did half as much traffic.

Let’s parse the details:

Don’t write boring crap

Most people are boring, and because they are boring, they produce boring content. It may be harsh, but it is also true. Don’t be boring! Because so many people are boring, and producing boring content, non-boring content really stands out. A woman making COVID-19 masks out of her used panties? Not boring. But you don’t have to write about used panty COVID-19 masks to get people to click. You do have to write stuff that isn’t boring. Ben Smith wrote this jealous screed against Ronan Farrow, and people are clicking the hell out of that. Matt Taibbi is always ranting about some political thing—I don’t read him so I don’t know what, but whatever—and people click the hell out of his content. I’m trying to think of someone else who writes non-boring content, but so much content is boring that I can’t think of anyone else right now. In any case, say what you will about used panty COVID-19 masks, but they are not boring.

Make the thumbnail image be of a person, preferably with a face, and ideally with eyes

Listen, I’m not the Margaret Mead of making content clickable, but I do know that when your thumbnail image—that image they see when they’re sitting around debating whether or not to click—is of a person, preferably with a face, and ideally with eyes, people are more likely to click it. Maybe it’s because people are lonely af. Maybe it’s because content is a proxy person with which they hope to engage. Maybe it’s due to some weird law of animal attraction of which I am not aware. In any case, people are a million more times likely to click on your content if there’s a person in the image. With this post, the thumbnail image is of the artist wearing one of her masks. You see her eye. She’s looking at YOU. Click!

Be of the moment

It wasn’t actually my idea to write that story. Someone else suggested it. Frankly, I thought it was a little absurd to write about, so I dragged my feet before I finally wrote it. Here’s the funny thing about content. It’s oftentimes the stuff you care about the least that performs the best. I wonder why that is the case? I have no idea. Why did this post generate over 10,000 views in a few days? Maybe it’s Google. Maybe it’s the pandemic. Maybe it’s the masks. Maybe it’s the used panties. Maybe sometimes there are things we just don’t understand about the universe, and this is one of them. May all your content be fruitful and multiply.

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The Hustler Diaries Part 6: How to Pitch a Podcast Series

Awhile back, I created a pitch for a podcast series. It wasn’t that difficult. Or, I should say, it wasn’t as hard as doing a book proposal. (Tip: If you ever think something is hard, then think of something harder. Then you will feel like you are doing something comparatively easy. Emphasis on comparatively.)

Here’s how to do it:

Come up with a great concept

If you want to do a podcast series that’s not you conducting boring interviews with people or you nattering on about something that you think is interesting but no one else finds interesting, you should conceptualize a podcast series that’s about something smart, and compelling, and informative. (I won’t share my concept here, but it’s related to my nonfiction book project.) My series is a documentary series. Maybe yours is historical, or true crime, or science. Or all those things. Once you have a great idea, seek out five of your friends, but only reach out to friends who you consider to be your more honest and straightforward friends. Friends who blow sunshine up your ass are not helpful in this context. (Call them next time you get dumped or whatever.) You want friends who “speak their mind” or are sometimes told they are “cruel.” If the assholes you know find your podcast series idea interesting, you might be on to something. Remember friends are helpful. Lying to your face isn’t helpful. If you’ve shopped your ideas around to your crabby, smart friends and gotten the thumb’s-up, it’s time to move forward.

Bang out that podcast proposal

The best thing about podcast proposals is that they aren’t that long. Mine is maybe 12 pages. It includes a one-page overview, a one-page description of the format, several pages that outline what each episode will be about, and my bio. I includes an audio sample and a news article that pertains to my project. The two most challenge parts of the proposal are the overview and the outline. The challenge of the overview is making it succinct and engaging. The challenge of the outline is making it fresh (not just repeating whatever was in the overview) and telling a story that unfolds over the series’ episodes to deliver something new to the listeners by its end. If you spend more than like a month working on this, you’re taking too long. Don’t overthink it. This isn’t brain surgery. This is a podcast series.

Shove it out the door

Once I was done with my podcast series pitch, I delivered it, in PDF form, to my agent. She suggested some revisions, which I made. Then she sent the podcast pitch out to a couple of the biggest producers of podcasts. My first meeting with one of those producers is tomorrow. We’ll see what happens. At this point, you are the parent of a small, weird child you are attempting to give up for adoption—or at least co-parenting. Believe in the kid, and if you’re lucky, someone will love that four-legged, five-eyed, two-headed creature as much as you do.

Want to hire me? Learn more here or email me here. Subscribe to my newsletter. Follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn. Read The Hustler Diaries here.

The Hustler Diaries Part 5: How to Write a Nonfiction Book Proposal

👃🏼

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Last week, I completed a draft of my nonfiction book proposal and sent it to my agent. Now, the waiting begins. Here’s what I learned along the way:

Do your research

Nonfiction book proposals follow a template. There’s an overview, an author’s bio, a marketing plan, a comparative analysis, and an outline. There may be additional things, like a sample chapter. You can learn all about these bits and pieces on Google. The main thing I discovered this time around is the briefer the better. In previous drafts, I’ve over-delivered (which is to say: I tried to stuff it with too many things) or over-sold (in which case, it sounded more like puffery than promise). This time, I was more reserved, more elegant, more reasonable. I’d rather by a used car from the latter than the former. Wouldn’t you?

Go big or go home

Sometimes it’s hard to emotionally commit to a proposal. It is, after all, a proposal. Rejection haunts the hallways of your mind, and you’re just not sure if you’re giving someone you’ve never met (in this case, an editor) what they want. I think this is the part I struggled with the most. In earlier drafts, it was too memoir-y. Then it go too impersonal. This time, I believe I struck a middle ground. But the key was taking the time to realize how I wanted to tell the story. If you keep trying to figure out how they want you to tell your story, you’ll never end up telling your story at all. You’ll wind up delivering the story they wanted to hear.

Let it go

Last Tuesday, I realized it was done. I took a final pass at it, and then I emailed it to my agent. Typically, this is the hardest part. The waiting. The not knowing. The uncertainty of it. Which is why I’ve busied myself with other things. Like this blog. Or a movie. Or taking walks outside, where the roses are totally in bloom.

Want to hire me? Learn more here or email me here. Subscribe to my newsletter. Follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn. Read The Hustler Diaries here.

The Hustler Dairies Part 4: Launch a Newsletter

I’d been thinking about launching a newsletter for a while, but I hadn’t done it. Now is the right time to do the thing that you’ve long thought about doing. If not now, then when? You could use the time you’ve spent thinking about not having done the thing to actually do the thing. It will be easier than you think to get it done. At least, that’s what I found when I sat down to do some research and launched my newsletter.

Do what’s easy

Let’s not make things any more complicated than they should be, shall we? After all, perfect is the enemy of good. From the outset, I figured I’d probably use Mailchimp or Substack. I was generally aware of the former, which I think is maybe better if you are a business, and I’d been reading more about the latter lately, which I think is maybe better if you are a writer. I decided to go with Substack because: it looked easy to use, it had a straightforward subscriber model, it was initially free while I was working out the kinks. From what I read, it seemed like the best thing to do was to have it be free to subscribers for at least the first 90 days. Then you can make some of it or all of it for paying subscribers. The overhead is zero.

Do something, anything

I decided to call my newsletter “The Valley.” The tagline is: “Reports from the epicenter of the universe.” You can sign up here. It’s about Los Angeles, the Valley (where I live), and my life as a writer. TBH, I’m not entirely sure what it’s going to be about. So I left myself a lot of latitude to figure it out as I went along. The first one was supposed to be an introduction, “Welcome to the Valley,” but it came out sort of a hot mess. I wrote a draft of it, then butchered that, and it has kind of a Frankenstein feel. Maybe a less hearty soul would’ve given up at this point, but I’ve been a writer so long that I’ve come to expect that not everything will be perfect. Then I hit the publish button. Off I went! I was doing the thing I hadn’t been doing.

Do like a peacock

After that, I shared the link on my various social media accounts, and my buddy gave me a nice shout out, and people started signing up. What a fine thing, the internet is. One day, you are doing no newsletter. A couple hours later, you are doing a newsletter. I intend to publish them once a week, probably on Fridays. BTW, I was very inspired by photographer Noah Kalina’s newsletter, which is awesome, so sign up for his.

Susannah has long been one of the most incisive writers and cultural observers I know. Highly recommend subscribing! https://t.co/7jk4lV3b0m

— Clayton Cubitt (@claytoncubitt) April 26, 2020

Want to hire me? Learn more here or email me here. Subscribe to my newsletter. Follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn. Read The Hustler Diaries here.

The Hustler Diaries Part 3: Sell Your Story

It’s easy to have a lot of ideas about things you want to sell, and a lot harder to turn those ideas into a products. Oftentimes, what you’re selling is your story. Whether it’s the story of your company, the story of your product, or the story of your brand, it’s still a story. Stories are important because people love stories. Stories make people feel something. And when people feel something, it makes them want to be engaged with the thing that made them feel. (Your company / your product / your brand.)

Here’s one story I sold:

Make it something you love

A wrote a short story called “The Tumor.” It’s about a bad man, a malignant wife, and an anthropomorphic tumor. I wrote it relatively quickly, and then it lived in a .doc. I really like this story, so I decided to sell it.

Make it beautiful

To sell it, I recruited several people to turn the story into something beautiful. People like beautiful things. Beauty makes people feel a certain way: wonder, awe, excitement. I worked with a copy editor, an artist, and a designer to turn my story into a beautifully designed thing. It went from being a story to being a Story.

Make it easy

To sell it, I turned to Gumroad. I believe this was a recommendation from my photographer friend Clayton Cubitt. Gumroad is incredibly easy to use, and they pay you out in a very easy way. It’s just, well … effortless. I also used Pay What You Want pricing, which means people pay at least $1 for it, but can pay more.

To date, I’ve sold 159 copies of “The Tumor” for a total of $867.50.

Not bad for a story that once lived inside my head.

Want to hire me? Learn more here or email me here. Subscribe to my newsletter. Follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn. Read The Hustler Diaries here.

The Hustler Diaries Part 2: Stay in Your Lane

One thing I’ve learned through being self-employed, especially as a writer, is to stay in your lane. When you wander too far out of your lane, or try to occupy to many lanes, you get lost. Here’s how my role as a now senior contributor to Forbes has evolved over time, and how I recently redefined my lane.

Make it real

When I first started blogging for the Forbes website, each blog had a name. Mine was “Pink Slipped.” I’d been downsized, and I focused on the gig economy. The blog was quite popular because I wrote about what was going with my gig career, as it was happening. That sense of urgency and unexpectedness gave it juice. My blog with that angle was quite popular, and it was cited by Katie Couric and others.

Keep it fresh

Sometime in 2018, the editor of the Lifestyle section of the Forbes site reached out to me and asked me if I wanted to be the editor of a new section that would cover Vices. I refocused my own blog to fit that niche. So my blog focused on the business of vice, including gambling, sex, firearms, cannabis, food, and alcohol. That pushed me out of my comfort zone. But at times it felt like a very, very wide lane.

Do what you know

Today, I’m no longer editing the Vices section, but I still blog on the site. For me, something had become less fresh about trying to cover so many topics. So this week I asked my editor if it would be OK if I covered just one beat: the business of sex. I’ve been covering this beat for many years as a journalist, so this is my comfort zone. Of course, I can write about other things on other platforms, but it felt like it would be clarifying for me to just—well, pick a lane and stay in it, at least in that venue. So keep an eye out for more to come here.

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The Hustler Diaries Part 1: And Now We Begin

👀 #burbank

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I’ve spent the last 20 years working for myself and mostly working from home. So, in my case, the pandemic work situation isn’t exactly outside of my wheelhouse. In fact, I know this wheelhouse very well. Here’s my first post in “The Hustler Diaries,” where I’ll be sharing my expertise. Today, I share how I’ve spent my time so far, why you really should do that thing you’ve been putting off forever, and the key to creating a strategic plan that will work for the unicorn that is you.

Do something you love

I spent the first chunk of my self-isolation time revising a nonfiction book proposal. That was completed a few days ago. Then I sent it to my agent at CAA. If you are an INFP, like me, this stage of self-isolation will cause you no problems, and you will probably say things to people like: “I was born to do this!”

Take care of what you’ve been putting off forever

Because a scammer jacked susannahbreslin.com, I didn’t own it. For years, I’d been hosting my website on susannahbreslin.net, which is not a good look. Last December, I bought susannahbreslin.com. But I hadn’t transferred my site to that new URL. In addition, I was having a problem with my site’s security certificate. Luckily, I connected with Jo of Brent & Jo Studio. She fixed my problem at a reasonable price, easily and quickly. (She’s great!) Now you are reading me on susannahbreslin.com, and that pesky security certificate issue has been resolved. Sometimes when you find yourself unable to avoid certain things, that’s the perfect time to do whatever you’ve been avoiding forever.

Launch your strategic plan

Yesterday, I published this post: “Hire Me.” I’m a writer, an editor, and an executive coach. That post was the first step of my strategic plan. Historically, I’ve found that when I’ve faced the biggest challenges, I’ve made the most progress. The key is ignoring a lot of the advice that others will impart to you. Instead, the trick is doing what you think you should do. Everybody else’s strategic plan is worthless. Your strategic plan, should you chose to follow it, is a goldmine.

Want to hire me? Learn more here or email me here. Subscribe to my newsletter. Follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn. Read The Hustler Diaries here.

[Image via my Instagram feed]