The Dominatrix Sleeps Tonight
The Dominatrix Sleeps Tonight at Sherman Oaks Antique Mall. For more photos, follow me on Instagram.
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A Tour Of Graceland Reveals Elvis Presley Was The King Of A Curious Domain
This story was originally published on Forbes.com in September 2017.
If you find yourself in Memphis, Tennessee, you pretty much have to tour Graceland, the nearly 14-acre pastoral estate once inhabited by Elvis Presley, the King of Rock and Roll. The residence isn't far from downtown, and sits on a regular road. Across the street from the home, there's a massive complex devoted to all things Presley. But what's curious about taking a stroll around the grounds is that it's less like touring the opulent domain of a once glorified musician and more like taking a deep dive into the abode of a man obsessed with reflections and concealments. At a certain point, in Graceland itself, you might find yourself on a short flight of stairs descending to a basement, and you'll look around yourself to see mirrors have been mounted on the walls and the ceiling, and as you gaze at a vision of yourself reflected back at you, you'll wonder why a man who was adored by so many built a world of his own that was a literal funhouse hall of mirrors.
Before you make your way to Graceland proper and after you plunk down $57.50 (for $5 more, you can tour the airplanes—and how can you not tour the airplanes?), you enter Elvis Presley's Memphis, which is located across the street from Graceland. It is a sprawling complex of Stores That Sell Things Related to Elvis, Museums Devoted to Things Related to Elvis, and Restaurants That Sell Foods That Are Related to Elvis. But before you make your way through it, you are funneled into a room to watch a movie that celebrates The King. When that ends, you are shuttled into a shuttle that meanders and winds its way down and around and across the street to Graceland. There, you wait in line while groups of Elvis Fans and People Interested in Elvis line up to enter the Colonial Revival white and stone mansion. Finally, you enter The House Where Elvis Lived. At which point, you will likely turn to your right and see the peacocks.
This is the music room. Graceland consists of over 17,000 square feet of residence and contains 23 rooms, but the glowing gold of the peacock room is among the most impressive. Simply put, it is incredibly outrageous. Who would put massive stained glass peacocks in their front room? Elvis, that's who. From the start, it's clear that we're not in Kansas anymore, and Toto has left the room.
Being at Graceland makes one—or at least made this one—feel uneasy. Every room is decorated in some outrageous fashion. In the basement, there's a wall embedded with television sets. A retro surveillance camera lurks on a perch. Bizarrely, the billiards room is hung from walls to ceiling with a busily patterned pleated fabric. No one is allowed upstairs to the second floor, which purportedly remains untouched since Elvis died in an upstairs bathroom. In this stuck-in-time place, life is forever frozen, and it's unclear if you are the voyeur or under a microscope.
Arguably, the most outrageous room at Graceland is the den. It is known as "The Jungle Room." The green shag carpet is designed to resemble thick grass. The furniture is made of heavy wood and upholstered in what looks like fur. The red glowing wall where a fireplace would go in the average suburban home features a gently burbling waterfall. The effect is deeply 1970s Polynesian.
One doesn't typically associate Elvis with racquetball, yet if one stumbles from the disconcerting time capsule that is Graceland and strolls about behind the main house, one can peek inside a series of buildings, one of which contains the newly restored racquetball court. According to the Graceland website, one of Elvis's favorite past times was playing racquetball. The Memphis Flyer reveals that Elvis was part of a "racquetball mafia," and the King was no slouch at the game: "Elvis walloped the ball around the court like he was strumming a guitar for the fun of it."
Technically speaking, Elvis still resides at Graceland. He is buried, alongside several family members, in what's called the Meditation Garden. "He became a living legend in his own time, earning the respect and love of millions," his grave marker reads. "God saw that he needed some rest and called him home to be with Him." Tour takers stand nearby, taking pictures of the fallen king.
After touring Graceland, you will be shuttled back across the street. Behold Elvis's plane collection. It includes The Lisa Marie, a Convair 880 jet. "On April 17, 1975, Elvis bought a Convair 880 Jet, recently taken out of service by Delta Airlines, for the then-substantial sum of $250,000," Elvis Australia reports. "After refurbishing, the total exceeded $600,000."
This past March, Graceland opened Elvis Presley's Memphis at Graceland, a $45 million, 200,000-square-foot entertainment complex that includes the Elvis the Entertainer Career Museum, the Presley Motors Automobile Museum, and Elvis Discovery Exhibits. There are white bedazzled jumpsuits. There is a 1955 pink Cadillac Fleetwood. Down the street, Elvis Presley Enterprises spent $90 million to build The Guest House at Graceland to host a few of the 600,000 annual guests Graceland, including those who can afford up to $1,500 a night for a room.
At Gladys' Diner, I ordered the peanut butter and banana sandwich, which was, the sign said, fried in "bacon grease." Frankly, while I had been optimistic about the sandwich, it didn't look like much. I don't know if I spent too much time photographing the sandwich for Instagram, but by the time I bit into it, it wasn't very appetizing. This sandwich was a favorite of the King. It is known as "an Elvis sandwich" or "The Elvis."
By the time I left Graceland, the parking lot was filling, and the fans were funneling in for their turn at the Elvis experience. Personally, my Elvis experience left me feeling uneasy. What was the point of becoming so famous and so beloved if it prompted you to build a house in which most surfaces were reflective? In the end, the king stood alone, surrounded by his mirror image.
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Dead Flag Blues
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Transmission
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The Soundtrack to My Writing Life (Yeah)
Lately when I’ve been working on my porn novel I’ve been listening to “Maps” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs (2003).
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How Rapper Iggy Azalea Is Making Money On OnlyFans
This article was originally published on Forbes.com on January 22, 2023.
Iggy Azalea is the latest celebrity to join OnlyFans. Once dominated by sex workers seeking to boost their brands and monetize their relationships to their fans, the subscription-based content service has seen a rise in mainstream stars joining its ranks, including Bella Thorne, Denise Richards, and DJ Khaled. Amber Rose, another celebrity on OnlyFans and a former stripper, has described the platform as “a digital strip club.” So it only makes sense that Azalea, an Australian rapper who has proclaimed that she is, in fact, the strip club, would sign up, too.
But Azalea’s OnlyFans isn’t just any old OnlyFans. It is a year-long, collaborative multimedia project entitled Hotter Than Hell that will feature music, photography, video, art, and, according to a press release, content from “her upcoming fourth studio album.” For $25 a month, subscribers will get a front-row seat to the project as it drops, before the rest of the world sees it. The concept was inspired by Pamela Anderson, 90s supermodels, and Madonna’s controversial book Sex and culminates with a coffee table book to be released in December 2023.
Curious to check out Azalea’s project, I signed up for OnlyFans and paid $25 to subscribe to her content stream. At the top of her feed, a small green circle appeared next to her avatar (which was an image of Azalea licking a cherry); next to her OnlyFans handle, it read: “Available now.” Was Azalea actually live on the site? Was I more proximate to her than I had been before handing over my money? It seemed possible.
The first post was the aforementioned cherry-licking photo and the words: “The sweetest angel”; below that, it noted how many likes the post had and the dollar amount of tips it had garnered from her fans. (Tips are another way OnlyFans creators can generate revenue.) At the time of this writing, that post had 2,501 likes and $233.20 in tips. There were more images to come: Azalea in green lingerie, Azalea getting her makeup done, Azalea posing seemingly nude next to a swimming pool while eating a cherry with her nipple discreetly hidden from view. One post featured a nine-second audio clip of Azalea — “Hey, babe,” she purred to me? us? her anonymous fans? — offering an enticement to be “a part of my VIP for a year by tipping $250 and receive a one-year link subscription and a free photo that’s just for my VIPS.” That post had 685 likes and a staggering $15,690 in tips. (OnlyFans takes a 20% cut of its creators’ revenues.) Maybe I should be on OnlyFans, I mused.
So it went over the days that followed. There were more images. There were more audio clips. There was a video clip of a scantily-clad Azalea that had been filmed through a window as if the viewer (me) was spying on her; the text with it read: “Working my angles [butterfly emoji, fire emoji].” When I didn’t check Azalea’s content stream, I got emails from OnlyFans telling me that I had unread messages from her, as if I had left her on read. When I logged back into OnlyFans, I discovered those messages contained locked content, another way the site’s creators can make money. With the Pay Per View feature, members must pay more to access locked content. One was $40. Another was $28. Yet another was $35. Each message had a come-hither note, but the visual content was behind an image of a padlock.
I thought about unlocking the rest of Azalea’s content, but I didn’t. By that point I had read that she had “sold her master recording and publishing catalog to Domain Capital for an eight-figure sum” late last year. She didn’t need the money, I figured.
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How HBO’s "The Idol," With A Little Help From Valentino, Rewrote The "Pretty Woman" Playbook
In the third episode of the controversial HBO series “The Idol,” Jocelyn, a pop star played by Lily-Rose Depp, and Tedros, a slimy wannabe Svengali played by Abel “The Weeknd” Tesfaye, head off for a shopping spree at the Valentino boutique on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills. After bypassing a gaggle of adoring Jocelyn fans out front, the duo undertake some retail therapy. “You see that young lady over there?” Tedros asks a store employee. “Got anything in this store as beautiful as she is?” Jocelyn tries on a series of Valentino outfits as Tedros eggs her on, threatens to “curb stomp” an employee he believes his ogling his girl, and dismisses one top as “trash.”
Eventually, the pair end up having sex in a dressing room. When Jocelyn exits before Tedros can finish, he finishes himself off alone in the dressing room while holding onto a rack of Valentino clothes. Afterwards, he looks at his soiled hands. Then his gaze turns to the very expensive Valentino red dresses hanging nearby. The camera cuts away, but the implication is clear: he wipes his hands off on the dresses.
Did Valentino sign off on this? I wondered as I watched the scene. After all, Valentino is a venerated luxury fashion brand. Founded in 1959 by Valentino Garavani, its designs have been worn by Jackie Kennedy, Princess Diana, and Oprah Winfrey. Had Valentino cosigned on what appeared to be the bespoiling of its brand—or was this was what product placement looked like in 2023? In search of an answer, I reached out to Valentino for comment. I didn’t get a response back.
For an expert’s take, I sent an email to Stacy Jones, the CEO of Hollywood Branded, a pop culture marketing agency. She didn’t know if there was any brand partnership between Valentino and “The Idol,” but she did offer her take on the provocative Valentino scene, which had generated some debate on Twitter.
“While the scene in the Valentino store was certainly explicit, there isn’t damage to the brand,” Jones opined. “Even the derogatory mentions made by Tedros about some of the styles and the store’s stylist had no lasting negative impact. Tedros is shown to be the not-so-nice character he is, and it was in fact Tedros who came off looking poorly, not Valentino. The growing spotlight on Valentino dressing Lily-Rose's character and having her model their clothing on screen feels like a win regardless. The saying that you can’t pay for media worth that is true. This particular product placement is over delivering on brand awareness big time. There is not a lot of risk in offending older Valentino consumers as they simply won’t be watching the series. They are not the target audience.” These days, Valentino may be more interested in targeting millennials and Gen Z as potential customers. According to Bain & Co.: “These generations are expected to account for as much as 70% of the global luxury market by 2025.”
Not only that, it seemed I had missed the point entirely. As Jones pointed out in her email to me, the Valentino scene from “The Idol” was a redux of a scene from the 1990 film “Pretty Woman,” starring Julia Roberts as Vivian Ward, a Hollywood escort, and Richard Gere as Edward Lewis, a wealthy businessman, right down to the “Do you have anything in this shop as beautiful as she is?” line. “I googled to see where [the boutique shopping scene] in ‘Pretty Woman’ was filmed as I thought it had a high likelihood of being Valentino,” Jones added. “This article states ‘Pretty Woman’ filmed the Rodeo Drive scene specifically at Valentino. There are a lot of similarities in the scenes, just taken up many adult notches with an edgier, modern touch.”
Is “The Idol” “‘torture porn’”? Has it “set back the feminist movement by at least a decade”? Is it “anti-feminist spectacle”? Or is something more complex at work? At least in the case of the Valentino scene, the subtext is resolutely feminist. In “Pretty Woman,” Vivian says: “I want the fairy tale.”; she wants a man to rescue her. In Sam Levinson’s “The Idol,” the fairy tale is over. After all, it’s Jocelyn who denies Tedros his own pleasure, who is the star, and who, we presume, foots the bill for their shopping trip. In this retelling, the woman holds the power, not the man.
On a recent Friday afternoon, I made my way to the Valentino boutique. Since it was late June, the well-heeled shoppers making their way up and down the sidewalks had to share space with groups of tourists. In the Valentino store, I was met by a security guard. A salesperson followed me around as I admired a pair of $1,800 see-through platform pumps that reminded me of the strippers’ shoe brand of choice, Pleaser Shoes, and a red dress that looked like one Jocelyn had worn. On the second floor, the salesperson indicated the dressing room where the racy scene for “The Idol” had been shot, supposedly. I opened the door. No one, much less Tedros, was there.
This article was originally published on Forbes.com.
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Me & Iggy
For my latest post on Forbes, I wrote about how rapper Iggy Azalea is making money on Only Fans.
An excerpt:
Curious to check out Azalea’s project, I signed up for OnlyFans and paid $25 to subscribe to her content stream. At the top of her feed, a small green circle appeared next to her avatar (which was an image of Azalea licking a cherry); next to her OnlyFans handle, it read: “Available now.” Was Azalea actually live on the site? Was I more proximate to her than I had been before handing over my money? It seemed possible.
Read the rest here.
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The Hyatt Girls
If you don’t subscribe to Nick Cave’s The Red Hand Files newsletter, you should. It’s a quirky and curious mix of sage advice, odd confessions, and creative inspiration. Today’s is “So Who Are the Hyatt Girls?”
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In the Backseat
All my life I want money and power
Respect my mind or die from lead shower
I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower
So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours
— Kendrick Lamar’s “Backseat Freestyle”
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WAP
“WAP” featuring Cardi B, Megan Thee Stallion, and Kylie Jenner. The video is lit.
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That Thing
One thing that’s been challenging lately is that I have a project that I’ve been working on, but the stage it’s at currently, I can’t discuss it. That’s been hard. Most of the time, I can write about whatever I want, and I prize myself on being able to write in an unfettered way. In any case, eventually I’ll be able to share it.
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The Empath
Image via The New Yorker
If you’re interested in the toll being a hyper-empath takes on the creator, check out “Fiona Apple’s Art of Radical Sensitivity” by Emily Nussbaum in The New Yorker.
On the day that Jonathan Ames came over, Apple had pondered the exact nature of her work. Maybe, she suggested, she was like any other artist whose body is an instrument—a ballerina who wears her feet out or a sculptor who strains his back. Maybe she, too, wore herself out. Maybe that’s why she had to take time to heal in between projects.
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I Get Email
I have been searching for my true passion and I still havent gotten anywhere. I'm trying out rapping right now. I want to know how you found yourself or figured out who you are? Im so lost just looking for the light at the end. I'm living for now just not as good as I can be.
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#mood
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Hot Open
5 Wikipedia Pages Upon Which My Name Appears
Get a copy of my acclaimed story, “The Tumor.” It’s “a masterpiece of short fiction.”
Baby Got Back Her Back
Adore this Lizzo performance at the VMAs. The set is amazing and brilliantly reappropriates the oversized butt concept from Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back.”
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My 2019 Resolutions
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Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."