Trump Rally, Florida
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
I spent a couple weeks on Martha's Vineyard. I was there working. This was the hallway to my room, at night, lit by the EXIT sign. It looks like something out of "The Shining," doesn't it? First, it was warm. Then, it was cool. I took some walks to the lighthouse. Eventually, I was ready to leave, and then I did.
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
The guy walks in and takes a look at Vincent van Gogh's latest work. It's La Berceuse. Why is her face so yellow? the guy wants to know. He points at the woman's strange hands. What have you mangled there? the guy queries, clearly annoyed. I don't like this, the man says. It's just too weird. (Just ignore him.)
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
I talked to Pornhub about their New York Fashion Week collaboration with Hood By Air on my Forbes blog: "How a Porn Company and a Fashion Brand Shocked New York Fashion Week."
Do you think we’ll see more of this in the future — porn companies collaborating with mainstream companies?
There’s immense potential for fashion brands to collaborate with Pornhub. As more and more fashion brands continue their foray into the digital ad ecosystem, they are looking to overhaul their marketing approach by leaning toward a more refreshingly modern and edgy attitude in terms of exposure. And that’s exactly what Pornhub provides.
[Forbes]
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
I made a few functionally minor, aesthetically significant changes to this website recently. I changed the background image to GUNS! And I rewrote my ABOUT page. I've long wrestled with saying who I am and what I do. Am I a journalist? A fiction writer? A, as of late, reality TV producer? A maker of comics? A photographer? A blogger? This time, I decided, I'm all of those.
Here's what it reads now:
ABOUT ...
I'm a journalist, a novelist, a copywriter, a reality TV producer, a photojournalist, a maker of comics, a blogger, an editor, and a pundit. In 2008, TIME named me one of the best bloggers of the year. I've been described as a "modern-age Studs Terkel," a "rare commodity online," and a "certifiable asshole." If you're interested in contacting me, you can email me at susannahbreslin at gmail dot com.
I also changed my profile photo here and elsewhere. It's rather dark. It's a selfie I took backstage before an improv performance.
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
Where I grew up, they didn't have people like this. I guess it's an East Coast thing. I gawked at them when I saw them. They were on their way to a wedding. They saw me agog and smirked.
I don't think they really got what I was thinking.
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
In "Wiener-Dog," the wiener-dog is life. With its head held upright pertly, and its stupid legs too short for its body, it is a thing to which things happen. In fact, that would make wiener-dog not life, but you. There's: a weird couple, mentally disabled people, a brilliant Ellen Burstyn, Julie Delpy as a monster, dog shit, dog shitting blood, neurotic everybodies, a hostile teacher of screenwriting, and a maybe fucked up girl on drugs with a boyfriend named Fantasy. This is Todd Solondz, of course, who else would it be? You won't like it if you don't like freaks, if you're not a freak. Everyone is either unstable or unhappy or in denial regarding their instability and/or their unhappiness. It's a series of stories, like an anthology or a collection of essays, with that dim dog traipsing its way through. There's even an absurd intermission. If you're stupid and small, don't watch it.
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
In the comments of "The Long, Dark Process of Creating HBO's 'The Night Of,'" a commenter asserted that HBO's "The Deuce," David Simon's in-production series on porn in 1970's New York City starring James Franco and Maggie Gyllenhaal, "began" as a show I pitched to HBO.
This is an amusing idea, but, as far as I know, not the case. Last year, I wrote about a series that I'd pitched as a potential HBO project to Stephen Levinson by way of Ari Emanuel several years ago, which I described as a "21st century 'Boogie Nights,'" but, as I stated in the post, "[I]t never went anywhere."
Still, this random reinventing of the story is amusing, although, you know, incorrect. It's too bad, though, that my idea has yet to see the light of day. I look forward to seeing Simon's show, but everybody knows that men can't write about porn--not honestly, anyway. Their dicks get in the way. Only women get how it really works.
In any case, here's the incorrect comment that the commenter commented on The A.V. Club:
The show began as Susannah Breslin pitching HBO a 'porn drama . . . akin to a 21st century “Boogie Nights”' that got tabled once James Franco was pulled into the discussion and started talking about the show HE wanted to make.
I'm glad Simon is working on this now but there was pretty much nobody more qualified to tell such a story than Breslin, and it sucks that her spin got rejected in favor of the more commercial one. She would have made something more disgusting, depressing and unique (and the fact that the story is set in the 70s and based on real life just means people will throw even more criticisms at it for ripping off Boogie Nights. )
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
At this point in my career, I remain confused as to whether it is a blessing or a curse to be good at many things. Which is to say, I am not good at many things in a broad sense but that when it comes to words, I am good at the many ways one may apply that gift. I write fiction and nonfiction, am a copywriter and a digital marketer, create strange projects and undertake long-form investigations. Is this good or is this bad? I have no idea.
The ad world
Not long ago, I went to Miami to talk to some ad agencies about doing some copywriting work for them. So far, those interviews have not led anywhere. Why is this the case? I'm not sure. Maybe it is: my freelance status, my overall vibe, my doesn't-fit-into-a-box-edness. There were some issues that presented themselves during the process. One: Anyone who interviews me has googled me, which means that they know I've written extensively about pornography. Two: There had been a several year gap between when I had been doing copywriting last and my interest in it now, which was due to the fact that I had cancer and then got better. Both of these topics ended up being addressed directly in the interviews, which I had decided beforehand was the best way to handle them. But was I right? I don't know.
Reality TV is calling
Because internet, I had a producer approach me about developing an idea for a reality TV show. This ended up being a great time. I really enjoyed doing this. It was fun. In fact, I was going to list a few words after "fun," but when I wrote the word "fun," I realized that's what I liked most about it. It was fun. It wasn't stressful or deadly serious or an impossible task. It was enjoyable. It was entertainment. I have done some TV show producing and developing in the past. When I was on Playboy TV, I would bring the executive producers story ideas, and sometimes I gave input on scripts, and that sort of thing. At FX, I did some segment producing on a show called "The X Show," which was like that network's "The Man Show," and I did this Comedy Central-esque recurring feature in which I played someone called "The Manvocate," where I would seek out ways in which men were being exploited. I think the first one we did was on male porn stars being paid less than female porn stars. I think there was another one on male circumcision that was really weird and maybe would be best to forget about. I also forgot until I was working on this new show that years ago I actually had my own TV pilot, based on my old blog, which I went to New York to pitch, and met with I think it was MTV and VH1 and maybe Oxygen. That was a bit of a train wreck. But also a learning experience? One hopes.
Out, damned words
I have spent most of my career failing at being accepted by the New York publishing world. In maybe 2008, I put together a book proposal, got an agent, and that failed to sell. This time around, I couldn't even get an agent. Most agents didn't even respond after I submitted the two proposals I'd spent a long time getting solid. I hate agents, and the New York publishing world can suck my dick. That's my light bulb moment, right there. And fuck Oprah. Anyway, I'm working on a novel. May all the agents who ignored me suffer at the hands of fate.
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
Next July, it will be five years since I was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer. This past summer marked my anniversary of four years cancer-free. Five years is a big deal, the time at which you're supposed to be out of the danger zone. Everyone who's had cancer wants to get there. Eventually, over time, it becomes a symbolic date more than anything else, a fantasy point at which you go from being NOT OK to OK. I'm almost there. Today requires a regular visit to the oncologist -- no big deal, just a check-in, no worries. Since I don't go to the oncologist as often now as I did in the beginning, there's a sense that I'm almost there. Still, it triggers. I get the sweats. I don't like to go. I wake up early. I want this to be over, I think. One day, it will be.
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
If you follow this blog, you may recall that I wrote a Forbes blog post back in 2012 that has since proven to be my most-read post there. It's about being a male porn star, and it's since gotten nearly two million views. Around the same time, I started getting emails from men who want to be porn stars. Since, I've received nearly seven hundred emails. At a certain point, I started posting them to a page on this website. Most recently, I updated it with some newer ones.
"I read your article from a few years ago about male porn stars. You probably saved me a lot of time there. I checked out your page, something I generally don't do. Your article spoke to me in the most straightforward of terms so I wanted to thank you for taking such a world view of the matter. I'm considering more realistic work now, not that that's not what I've been doing... but thanks anyway. Your article was very helpful. I'll be keeping my eye out for more of your work I found it to be very piquing of my curiosities. You got a new fan."
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
Last week, I posted five Rejections from Literary Agents. I did this because the rejections, which I'd received over the months previous, were depressing. As you can see by the posts, they were also varied, ranging from this proposal is a pile of stinking shit to you are a great writer but I'm not a fit for this to form letter to I can't bother to respond so here is an email from my assistant. Most of the agents I submitted to didn't even respond. Nowadays, most editors in publishing are like that, it seems. I believe it used to be less like this, but email is so easy to ignore, you know? I'm not sure what the conclusion is here. I've written before that I do not particularly care for agents. And I seem to have them and then it doesn't work out in the long run. I've done better by myself, I suppose. I think that is the point. No more intermediaries for me, maybe. We'll see.
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
Dear Susannah,
i read your proposal over the long weekend and have some thoughts about it. My first question to you is what is this book about in your view? Is it a [redacted] and if so, hasn't that already been done? It's not clear what your point of view is on the whole issue nor what the point of the book is. I understand that [redacted] but why should we care? Why is this a bad thing? These are not people we care about as characters so I'm not sure we should care that [redacted].
You write about the [redacted] but it's not clear whether you think this is ridiculous or not. It is interesting that [redacted] but not sure where that takes us.
In reading [redacted] I'm not sure I understand why you [redacted] is a good thing. What is the point ofthat? And what is the reason to not condemn [redacted] and the [redacted] and then [redacted] in the beginning of the story?
I guess my response to this is that i don't see the book in this. I get that you are [redacted] but unless there are reasons to care about this world and make it interesting, I don't see what the purpose of the book is. Or what your thesis is for writing the book. So perhaps I am simply not the right agent for you on this topic. Or perhaps I need a clearer and more articulate answer to what this book is meant to be.
With all best wishes,
[redacted]
Want to support this blog? Buy THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by Susannah Breslin.
Dear Author,
Thank you for giving us the opportunity to consider your work. We've read your material, and I'm sorry to say that we don't think it is right for [redacted] at this time.
Publishing is a tough business, and the response of any individual agent—or indeed dozens of agents—is not necessarily a comment on the inherent value of the project. Every agent has individual tastes and individual business requirements. We wish you the best of luck in finding the right path to publication.
Sincerely,
[redacted], assistant to [redacted]
Want to support this blog? Buy THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by Susannah Breslin.
Hello Susannah,
I very much appreciate the chance to consider your proposal. I’m sorry that I’m not the right agent to represent the book but I wish you great luck with it.
Best, [redacted]
Show your love for this blog! Buy THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by Susannah Breslin.