Don't Be a Square
"I took this photo of an adult movie actress." Read my newsletter and subscribe to get it in your inbox weekly.
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Flowers in Brooklyn
Flowers (Adult Movie Set) framed and on its way to the Don’t Be a Square group art show at Shag in Brooklyn.
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I'm Revealed
Tonight, at 7 p.m., I’ll be a storyteller at Revealed, where people share true and personal stories about the “comedy and complexity of being human.” The show is at The Glendale Room, and the tickets are $8.
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My Photograph in an Upcoming Group Art Show
I’m delighted to share that one of my photographs will be part of a group art show in Brooklyn this fall. The show, curated by photographer Ellen Stagg, is called “Don’t Be a Square,” and it will take place at SHAG. The exhibition will be up from September 19, 2025, to January 3, 2026, starting with an opening reception on the 19th from 6 to 8 p.m. My work is titled Flowers (Adult Movie Set); it’s featured in the lower left-hand corner of the invite pictured in this post. I took the photo on the set of an adult movie in Canoga Park, Calif., in the spring of 2009. Below is Ellen’s curatorial statement. I hope you’ll check out this awesome exhibition.
Don’t Be a Square, Group Art Show
Curated by Ellen Stagg
Shag from September 19 - January 3
108 Roebling Street, Brooklyn, NY 11211
“To Be Square: Means to be old-fashioned, conventional, or uncool”
Erotic art is never square, but I asked the artists of this show: “How do you see outside a box when you put yourself in one?”
Making art in a square is not typical, but it can be done. Most canvases are rectangles in Landscape or Portrait, but a square is the same on all sides, creating a canvas for all the artists to be the same, but expressing themselves in their own way, fully and freely.
The artists in this show exemplify just that—all different. From color to black and white, and through the use of media from Photography, Collage, Drawings, Sculpture, Paintings, Video, and Multimedia, they all have a common ground—the square—and their own way of thinking outside their own constraints. By expressing themselves fully with the theme of Eroticism and what it means to them to be boxed into four walls, they are thus exposing their own deepest desires of sexuality and sensuality.
The work flows so well together because of their common canvas, but they are all so different in a playful, sexy, and thought-provoking way. If we are forced to be boxed into a square, how do we test the limits of our sexuality? Stop putting yourself in a box with conventions and don’t be a square.
Artists to show:
Agatha, Amanda Heck, Ames Robin, Daze, Dee Lee, Ellen Stagg, Isa McMullen, Jeff Faerber, Joe Borzotta, Lara Scotton, Leo Brooklyn, Marianna Carlina, Martina Secondo Russo, Micheal Paul, Peekaboo Pointe, Porkchop, subtexture, Susannah Breslin, Sy Rivers, Trixie LaPointe, Tom Tapit and William Thompson
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Announcing My Next Book
I’m happy to announce my next book: Dr. Dre’s The Chronic. It’s part of Bloomsbury’s much-loved 33 1/3 series. I’ll be writing about the seminal album and its influence. Thanks so much to Bloomsbury for the opportunity.
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Sex $75
In the early 2000s, there was a very cool magazine called Arthur. It was edited by Jay Babcock and, per Wikipedia, “featured photography and artwork from Spike Jonze, Art Spiegelman, Susannah Breslin, Gary Panter and Godspeed You! Black Emperor.” Arthur was printed on paper and about all kinds of things: music, art, L.A. In 2003, I wrote an essay for Arthur, “Sex $75,” the title taken from a photo I took of a wall, on Santa Monica Boulevard, upon which someone had scrawled those words. My story was accompanied by some photos I had taken, including on the sets of porn movies. In any case, Babcock has scanned every issue of Arthur and made them available online as PDFs. It was pretty cool to see a piece I had written so long ago. The main photo at the top of the essay I had forgotten about entirely. I took it on the set of a porn movie filmed in a house above the Sunset Strip. When I arrived on the set, I asked if I could take photos of the male porn star, whom I knew, and the female porn star, whom I had just met, while they filmed their sex scene. When the woman hesitated, the male porn star said to her: “She’s cool.” Anyway, thanks for that moment, and for saying that. Time travel is pretty cool, even virtually.
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I'll Be Performing in The Non-Fiction Show
On June 22, 2025, at 7:30 pm, I’ll be performing in The Non-Fiction Show, a variety show featuring folks sharing true stories on unexpected topics. The show is at Nico’s Baby Battista in Atwater Village. Tickets.
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Fuck You, Pay Me #22: May the Work Be With You
Pink-haired mannequin, Hollywood, Calif. | Photo credit: Susannah Breslin
This is part 22 of Fuck You, Pay Me, an ongoing series of posts on writing, editing, and publishing.
May was a busy month for me. Among other things, I published a short story I wrote 30 years ago for the first time online, I visited the grave site of one of my heroes, I checked out the freaks at an art gallery show, I saw a correlation between pornography and Cronenberg, I overshared in my newsletter, a TV show asked if they could use my photos, one of my photos was accepted to be in a group art show later this year, I was part of a variety show in a hipster enclave, I read a few books, and I worked on my novel.
REVISITING “THE APARTMENT” — I published a short story I wrote around 30 years ago, “The Apartment,” on my website. The story was first published in an anthology, Chick Lit 2: No Chick Vics, and is about a man and a woman and what it’s like when your entire relationship is built on secrets and passive-aggressive actions. Here’s an excerpt: “Her fingers were moving around and he could now see her in the hall through his own peephole and she was undoing her pants with her other hand.” I made the illustration by taking a photo of my own peephole, adding an eyeball in Instagram Stories, and taking a screen shot of that. Read it here.
GOODNIGHT, MR. LYNCH — I was heartbroken when David Lynch, who is one of my favorite directors, died in January. So much so that I didn’t visit the makeshift memorial at Bob’s Big Boy that was spontaneously created for him. When I learned that his cremains had been buried at Hollywood Forever, I decided to make the pilgrimage. I brought wonderfully fragrant lilies and a card that stated how much he and his work meant to me. In February, I started doing Transcendental Meditation through the David Lynch Foundation, which has changed my life. So his influence lives on.
FREAKS & FRIENDS — I like art, and one of my favorite galleries in Los Angeles is David Zwirner. This month, I checked out Cataclysm: The 1972 Diane Arbus Retrospective Revisited. The show was terrific. When I was a kid, I acquired a copy of the 1972 monograph, which includes the same images as in the Zwirner show. As a young person, I was dazzled by her work. The subjects were bizarre and freakish, too big and too exposed, doubles of one another or clearly troubled. I’m sure her eye shaped my own and what I understood a creative person could be: a fearless woman who considered those from whom others looked away. The show is up until June 21. Give it a look if you’re in town.
PULP | PORN — The other day I was re-watching Eastern Promises, which is one of my all-time favorite movies. In one shot, I noticed a striking similarity to the look of a young blonde curled on herself and on her side to the cover of Pulp’s This Is Hardcore. The former was released in 2007. The latter was released 1998. The first was Cronenberg’s vision. The second was Peter Saville’s and John Currin’s vision. To compare and contrast the two, I made a diptych of the images side by side. What do you think? Was Cronenberg influenced by Saville and Currin? Who knows. I’d love to know. If you know, let me know.
IT’S GIVING TMI — In my newsletter, I wrote about the time I visited the most exclusive sex club in the world and what that had to do with my mother. A snippet from my experience at the one-percent sex cub in a downtown Los Angeles penthouse: “I drifted between the rooms. In a bedroom I noticed the walls were covered in a type of luxurious fabric or leather. A three-way was entangled on the bed. A half-circle of onlookers stood around the threesome, ogling. I went to the window. The red, glowing neon sign on a nearby building promised JESUS SAVES.” Subscribe.
TV IS CALLING — Recently I got an email from a woman who was interested in using some of my photos in a television show. She wanted to see a certain number of them with a specific theme. I emailed those to her. After that, the show’s art director selected another grouping from those I’d sent. The photos will be used as part of a set on the show. Of course, I was paid for the use of my photos. I’ll share more when the next season airs.
NOT-A-PHOTOGRAPHER — Speaking of my photography, I saw online that a photographer I like was putting together a group art show. I sent her one of the photos from my ongoing L.A. Sex documentary photography project for consideration. She liked the image and will be including it in the show. I believe this is the first time one of my photos will be displayed and (hopefully) sold in this way, so I’m excited about that. I’ll have more information when the group show is announced.
READING IN HIGHLAND PARK — Have you heard of Space Stories? It’s a variety show at The Pop-Hop books co-op in Highland Park. I wanted to be involved, so I sent in a fictional short story I wrote (that will be published in an unrelated online magazine this fall). I was picked to be part of the show. I hadn’t read my fiction in public in awhile, but it was a lovely time, with an appreciative, engaged crowd. I wish Los Angeles had more literary events, as there’s a writerly population here that needs it. The next time you’re in Highland Park, visit The Pop-Hop. They do lots of neat stuff.
BOOK REVIEWS — This year I decided to only read books with pictures. This month I read seven books. One didn’t have pictures, but I made an exception because it was David Lynch’s Catching the Big Fish. The book is a collection of musings, reflections, and insights into the Lynchian process. One of the short vignettes is “The Box and The Key,” and the entirety of it is: “I don’t have a clue what those are.” If you don’t get the reference, you should watch Muholland Drive. More of my short book reviews: Books I Read.
A NOVEL IDEA — I’m writing a novel set in Porn Valley. The book takes place over the course of a single day. Its focus is a man who is involved in the adult movie business. This project is based on my nearly 30 years of writing about the porn industry. I guess you could say this novel is my Ulysses, or put another way the San Fernando Valley is my Yoknapatawpha County. The narrative winds its way through many of the diverse cities and communities within the Valley, from Burbank to Panorama City, Sherman Oaks to Tarzana, Chatsworth to [redacted]. I’m looking forward to sharing it.
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My Photo in an Upcoming Group Show
A photo of mine will be part of a group art show later this year. I’ll have more information when it’s available.
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Take a Picture
Recently, someone reached out to me about using some of my photos in a TV show. I’ll post more about that when it’s available—if my work makes the final cut. For more of my photos, follow me on Instagram.
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Mark Kernes Has Died
Image via AVN
Mark Kernes, who probably knew more about the legalities of the porn industry than anyone else, has died.
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Another Reverse Cowgirl Roundup
Image credit: Noah Kalina
In this week’s edition of The Reverse Cowgirl Roundup: bedmounds goes Hollywood, Patrick Bateman has his own fragrance, a serial killer runs rampant, and more. Make sure to subscribe, like, comment, and share.
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Feet Don't Fail Me Now
Image credit: Beatrice Neumann
In my latest newsletter: let’s all play footsie, you can have a piece of Britney Spears for $25,000, butt cracks are trending, a stripper has a cookbook, I hear from an aspiring male porn star, and more. Make sure to subscribe.
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Black and White
Have you subscribed to my newsletter, The Reverse Cowgirl? The latest edition is out, and it’s a real good time.
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Shine So Bright
In this week’s The Reverse Cowgirl newsletter: Stoya gets spotted on a rooftop by a voyeuristic drone, feminist AI art gets pretty naked and really weird, an abortion clinic gets blessings bestowed upon it, and Matt Gaetz’s sexts get revealed. Like it, share it, subscribe to it and get all the sex news that’s fit to print in your inbox.
(Photo credit: Clayton Cubitt)
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Girls Rule, Boys Drool
In this week’s edition of The Reverse Cowgirl: a female photographer exposes the strip club hustle, an elementary comic about drawing boobs, an interview with a woman who wrote a memoir about her career as a porn movie editor, and more. Don’t forget to like, share, and/or subscribe to my newsletter.
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Let's Get Funky
The latest edition of my newsletter, The Reverse Cowgirl, is out. In this week’s newsletter: a porn star zine featuring Asa Akira, erotic art tapestries, lusting for Luigi “The Adjuster” Mangione, and more. (Subscribe)
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The Reverse Cowgirl Diaries #7
The latest issue of my newsletter is available. Hit the button at the bottom to subscribe and get it every week.
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Catch Me at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books
On Sunday, April 21, at 3:30 p.m., I’ll be on a panel at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books. The panel is “Women and Bodies: Science Meets Sociology,” and tickets are required. My fellow panelists are Dr. Jen Gunter, Cat Bohannan, and M.G. Lord, and the moderator is Amy Alkon. I’ll be talking about my memoir, Data Baby: My Life in a Psychological Experiment; you can read more about my book here.
The panel description:
“It seems almost impossible that, in a year where a movie about an iconic doll broke nearly every record for success and female vocalists almost single-handedly boosted the economy with concert tours, there is still so much mystery, debate, contention, and law-making about women’s bodies. These writers share thought-provoking research and personal experience on everything from the role of female bodies in human evolution, to the gaps in medical knowledge about female reproductive systems and a 30+ year lab experiment about human personalities, and finally how all of this plays into the dolls we make to represent women. Though their stories differ, these writers are all experts in one extremely difficult field: being a woman.”
See you there!
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Fuck you, pay me #5: 19 Ways to Make Money as a Writer
A Memphis strip club employee counts money, Memphis, TN | Photo credit: Susannah Breslin
This is part 5 of “Fuck You, Pay Me,” an ongoing series of posts on writing, editing, and publishing.
There’s been a lot of talk lately about the death of journalism. Reporters are being laid off. Journalists are out of work. I’ve been a writer for over 20 years. Throughout, I’ve been able to sustain my writing career by diversifying my talents. Here are some of the ways that I’ve made money by using my writer skills.
Copywriter. As I have written on this blog, I got paid $100 an hour pretending to be the personality of Pepto-Bismol on social media. This was a fun job. Sometimes I wish that I could do it again. According to my notes: “social media engagement [increased] by 500% and market share [grew] by 11%” during the time period in which I was pretending to be Pepto.
Journalist. Reporter. Journalist. Investigative whatever you want to call it. I’ve done pretty much every type of journalism there is. People say journalism dying. Maybe they’re right, but I doubt it. I’m probably best known for “They Shoot Porn Stars, Don’t They?,” an investigation of the Great Recession’s impact on the adult film industry. My reporting has been described as “unflinching and devastating.”
Author. Last year, I published a memoir: Data Baby: My Life in a Psychological Experiment. Twenty years earlier, I published a short story collection: You’re a Bad Man, Aren’t You? I got an advance for the former; I didn’t get an advance for the latter. Books are a long game hustle. They may pay more money, but they may cost you a great deal of time.
Editor. I’ve been an editor for from Forbes.com, where I was the founding editor of the Vices section, and The Frisky, a site for women that was owned by Turner. These roles involved interfacing with other writers and editing their work, so if you’re incapable of those things, don’t be an editor. These days, sometimes someone who has an “editor” title is really just a writer; why this is, I have no idea.
Publicist. One of my first jobs after graduate school was doing PR for a book publisher. Being a publicist is a tough job because you do a lot of pitching, and oftentimes your pitches are ignored or declined. But being a publicist is one of the most important jobs I’ve ever had because I learned how to publicize myself. That skill came in handy when my memoir came out, and I worked hard to promote it.
Traffic driver. I’m not sure what to call this gig, even though I’ve done it for big companies. Organizations hire me to drive traffic to their digital platforms. I’ve found I obtain the best results when I function as both an editor and / or content creator in addition to driving traffic. For example, when I was at The Frisky, I grew the site from startup to 4M+ unique visitors and 22M+ page views a month.
Consultant. My consulting work as The Fixer is my highest-paid work. Typically my client is a CEO / founder / venture capitalist. They have a problem, and they hire me to fix it. This covers a range of issues, from getting media coverage to assisting in business development to strategic growth. Truth be told, I am better at this than anything else and have added millions of dollars to clients’ portfolios.
Essayist. I wrote “I Spent My Childhood as a Guinea Pig for Science. It Was … Great?” — on spec. I avoid writing on spec, because it sucks, but I knew the essay would help me promote my memoir. Once I was done, I shopped the essay around to a dozen outlets. Two were interested. I went back and forth on contract terms with the first, and we were unable to resolve them. The essay ended up at Slate, where I had a great editor, it got an excellent title, and I was happy.
Fiction writer. I write short stories, and I have had many of them published. I was paid for some of the short stories that were published, and I was not paid for others. Currently, I’m writing a novel that is set in the San Fernando Valley’s adult film industry, and I’m really excited about that.
Screenwriter / Producer. I’ve done some writing and producing for TV. This includes developing documentary and scripted TV series, including true crime, outdoor adventure, and miniseries. I was also a consultant for a movie directed by an Oscar-winning director. The TV business is not for the faint of heart. If you’re writing your own TV or movie project, please register it with the WGA.
Fellow. From 2018 to 2019, I was the Lawrence Grauman Jr. Post-graduate Fellow at the Investigative Reporting Program at the Graduate School of Journalism at U.C. Berkeley. This was a salaried role with benefits. At the time, the IRP’s leadership was in flux, but that has since changed for the better. I used my time as a fellow there to work on my memoir, which includes investigative reporting.
Teacher. When I was in grad school, I had a fellowship. My tuition was waived, I received a stipend, and I taught one undergraduate course per semester. I taught freshman composition and writing the research paper. After I graduated, I taught at various community colleges around the Bay Area (aka a gypsy scholar). Sometimes I think about getting my doctorate but haven’t decided yet.
Photographer. Over the course of my career, I have had some of my photos published in media outlets. These include Men’s Health, Forbes.com, Le Journale de la Photographie, mashKULTURE, Nerve, and Arthur. I can’t recall if I was paid for any of these photos, but I do enjoy taking pictures.
Ghost. I’ve been a ghostwriter in various incarnations, from ghostwriting tweets for celebrities to ghostwriting speeches for CEOs. I haven’t ghostwritten a book, although I imagine at some point I will. Everyone wants to be an author nowadays. They just don’t want to write the book. Recently, I enjoyed reading a story about a ghostwriter conference: “Ghostwriters Emerge From the Shadows.”
Blogger. I started blogging in 2002. I had a very popular blog called The Reverse Cowgirl. It was one of the internet’s first sex blogs. In 2008, Time.com named it one of the best blogs of the year. These days The Reverse Cowgirl is the name of my Substack newsletter, which I plan to monetize.
Project-er. I create independent projects. The Letters Project series was conducted over five years. I shared anonymous letters sent to me from johns, working girls, strip club patrons, cheaters, and porn-watchers. These projects were covered by Salon, Newsweek, and CBC Radio, among other outlets.
Talker. I’ve been a speaker on various panels, presented my work at conferences, and read my writing at literary events. Some of these events have been paid; some of them have not. Quite a few of them have connected me with other writers, and that experience has been invaluable.
Seller. This is a sector to which I hope to devote more attention moving forward. I have a Gumroad store where I sell a short story that I self-published, signed copies of my memoir, and my consulting services. Gumroad is a very simple, easy platform to use, and I highly recommend it.
On camera reporter. Years ago, I was an on camera reporter for Playboy TV’s “Sexcetera.” I did this gig for five years, I got paid well for my time, and I traveled the world. I saw very wild things, and I wrote some of my own scripts, and I got to visit the Playboy Mansion three times. Being on camera taught me a lot about myself. It also boosted my confidence. And for that I have Hef to thank.
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