Happy Holidays
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About | My Book I Newsletter I X I Instagram I LinkedIn I Consulting I Email
Chase Paradise, she's a great follow on Instagram here, wins Christmas with a tree and heels.
Looking for a last-minute gift for you, that special someone, or those special someones?
My self-published short story, "The Tumor," is the hilarious, curious tale of what happens when bodies go wild.
Ordering this e-story online for you or yours is super easy. (For a short explainer on how to give a gift on Gumroad, click here.)
As for the price, it's Pay What You Want.
Questions? Email me.
I had a very cool Thanksgiving dinner with Coop and his delightful family and got to see his Lego version of Anton LaVey's Black House Church of Satan headquarters.
I started taking photos of mannequins on Hollywood Boulevard maybe 15 years ago. There are several shops that have a lot in the windows, including a certain wig and costume shop. I've photographed mannequins in various places; for some reason, I feel drawn to them. They're human but remote, moody but still, glamorous but fixed. This one was dressed for Halloween.
"I hope you have someone in your life to whom you can send the following love note, and if you don't, I trust you will locate that someone no later than August 1: 'I love you more than anyone loves you, or has loved you, or will love you, and also, I love you in a way that no one loves you, or has loved you, or will love you, and also, I love you in a way that I love no one else, and never have loved anyone else, and never will love anyone else.' (This passage is borrowed from author Jonathan Safran Foer's book Everything Is Illuminated.)"
[FWA]
Men's Health has a list of super-freaky Valentine's Day gift ideas.
"Yes, believe it or not, chocolate anuses are a real thing that you can actually buy for somebody you care about this Valentine's Day. We're not sure why you would want to, but it's a plan B if you've already perused the selections in our Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas for Her and you keep thinking, 'Not anusy enough.'"
(Inspired by a 30-day yoga challenge at my yoga studio, I'm writing 30 flash fictions in 30 days. One a day. 100 words or less. Time limit: 15 minutes. You can read all of them here.)
Alex lifted the turkey carcass out of the trash can and paused. It was one o'clock in the morning and cold. The house was still and silent. His testicles recoiled in the frigid air. He stuck his hand inside the dead animal. There was a little bit of stuffing left. It would do. Upstairs, Donna pretended not to hear her husband making love to yesterday's dinner not far from the garden shed.
Time: 12 minutes
Word count: 72
"Valentine’s Day is one of the those special 'off' days that happen every-so-often in the strip club. Working the night of one these off days is never business-as-usual—it’s usually, business-as-oh-my-God-did-that-just-happen. The day of Cupid falls on a Friday this year, and there’s going to be a full moon."
By far my favorite Christmas present this year! #pistol #rugerlc9 #gun #inlove #bewbs #flbp #friskyfriday @theCHIVE pic.twitter.com/q5kfrc5gFC
— Johnna (@JohnnaB_85) December 28, 2013
"As a boy on Christmas morning I would rush downstairs, rip open my stocking, and discover among the toys and knick-knacks a bright, glossy, end-of-the-year special edition pornographic magazine.
Yes. My parents gave me pornography. In my stocking."
[Salon]
From Susan Elizabeth Shepard's "For Black Sheep on Christmas Eve":
"My uncle handed me their present, and I opened it to find a pair of purple-gold-green tasseled, sequined pasties. Nobody else found it funny but the three of us laughed like crazy. It was ballsy of them to make a joke of the family shame that was my topless dancing career and made me feel understood and not utterly alone that morning. Thank god, someone can have a sense of humor, is what it felt like. It was one of the best Christmas presents I’ve ever gotten, and I hang pasties on my tree now because that’s part of what makes it Christmas for me."