Only in L.A.
So awesome to have my story featured in “10 Locals Share Wild ‘Only in L.A.’ Stories” in The Los Angeles Times.
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Filtering by Tag: HUMOR
Fraud-in-Chief
It Me
Like what I do? Support my work! Buy my digital short story: THE TUMOR.
Inside Baseball, Porn Valley Style
Awhile back, my friend Tod Hunter, The Best Writer in Porn, posted this very funny image to the comments section of my Facebook page. That's Tod in the image, and the text reads: "The best writer in porn ... unless Susannah Breslin comes back."
I met Tod on the first porn movie set I ever visited. Tod is a journalist who covers the business and knows pretty much everything there is to know about the industry. He's always been unfailingly helpful to me in my ventures there. So this image greatly amused me.
Thanks, Tod!
I Give It a Meh
Over the years, I've owned several Mary Roach books, but I've never read them. This week, I finally got around to plowing through Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers. People accuse Roach's books of being formulaic. One Word Title. Semi-Colon. An Odyssey Through Something Weird. In Which the Author Relates a Lot of Facts. And Cracks a Lot of Jokes. Titter. Titter. At first, I was dazzled. I mean, this book opens in a room with pans in which human heads are sitting. Impressive! And there are all kinds of strange and dismembered things along the way, as Roach undertakes to answer the question: What happens to dead human bodies, anyway? A lot, apparently. But even though Roach is a significant presence in the book, she is sort of like a shadow figure. I mean, you never really get why she's standing there watching a transplant surgeon pry a still-beating heart from a woman's brain-dead body. I suppose if you don't want your author in your story soup, that works just fine for you. But if you're going to show me a still beating heart, I think you should get me to understand why I should care. And I guess I know that I do, but I don't know why, and Roach never says if she does, or if she does, why. The closest thing to an explanation that I happened across is that her father was sixty-five when she was born. So maybe that explains her fascination with bodies and death. Who knows?
Order the perfect holiday gift today! Buy THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by Susannah Breslin.
Stop Monkeying Around!
[via Peteski]
My Son, the Naked Cowboy
The Beaver View
Toys
Toys, Chatsworth, CA / Photo credit: Susannah Breslin
Being on a porn set is always a bit surreal. A table of sex toys. A wheel of sex acts. A guy whose job it is to wipe up the mess. The porn star who can't stop complaining. The woodsman whose tattoo reads: "It's not only who you are underneath. It's also what you do that defines you." The supermoon hanging over the sleeping Valley.
Thug Life
Jennifer Lawrence Talks Sex Toys
Your Sunday Zen
Black Mirror
I was introduced to the amazing "Black Mirror" by Clayton Cubitt. It's must-see TV.
"On the other hand, I haven’t the slightest idea what to expect from a show that opens with a terrorist demanding the prime minister have intercourse with a pig on national television. But that’s how the first episode of Black Mirror begins.
[...]
There aren’t a lot of jokes about sex with pigs, because the prospect of someone actually having sex with a pig is not particularly funny. Which is not to say there aren’t any jokes: In my favorite scene, two hospital orderlies see the terrorists’ detailed specifications for how the unspeakable event must be filmed and get into an argument about Dogme 95."
[Slate]
Must-See TV
TLC has a new show, "Sex Sent Me to the ER":
"In the premiere episode, 24-year-old Gregg is caught off guard when his girlfriend Jen tries to take their relationship to the next level. Four hundred and forty pounds and still a virgin, Gregg is determined to pull out all the stops for his first time. But passion takes a dramatic turn when in the middle of making love, Gregg accidentally sends his girlfriend headfirst through the wall and ultimately to the ER. Then, after a night of performing and drinking, rock ‘n' roll guitarist and singer Cash is ready to put on a show in the bedroom with girlfriend Anne. But after a wall-shaking round of sex, Cash collapses and is unable to move his arm and leg. He ignores his symptoms at first but a trip to the ER soon reveals a surprising diagnosis. And Dr. Kevin Klauer is treating a man with a broken penis whose situation is further complicated when both his wife and girlfriend show up at the hospital. Though the threesome appears to be on good terms at first, the women begin to argue over what caused the injury, which quickly leads to an additional patient for Dr. Klauer to treat."
Jon Stewart, Fetishist
SEX CRIMINALS
Sex Criminals
Have you read Sex Criminals? It's a new series by Matt Fraction and Chip Zdarsky. It was banned by Apple.
Sex Criminals #1
A SEX COMEDY FOR COMICS: Suzie's a normal girl with an extraordinary ability: when she has sex, she stops time. One night she meets John... who has the same gift. And so they do what any other sex-having, time-stopping, couple would do: they rob banks. In the vein of THE 40-YEAR OLD VIRGIN and BRIDESMAIDS, Image Comics invites you to come along with MATT FRACTION (Hawkeye, SATELLITE SAM) and CHIP ZDARSKY (Prison Funnies, Monster Cops) for the series that puts the "comic" back in "comics" and the "sexy" back in "sex crimes."
You can download #1 for free on comiXology, and you can buy #2, #3, and soon #4 on Image Comics.
DILDO IN SPACE
SHE WAS THE ONE
