That Guy ... Who Was in That X-Rated Thing
Daniel Shar is the guy in that porn movie who didn’t have sex with anybody. Read my interview with him here.
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Daniel Shar is the guy in that porn movie who didn’t have sex with anybody. Read my interview with him here.
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In this week’s edition of The Reverse Cowgirl Roundup: a review of a comic book by a man who paid for sex, a brothel manager tells all, Playboy returns to print, Jeff Bezos’s fiancé shows some cleavage, and more.
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In this week’s edition of The Reverse Cowgirl Roundup: a sign from God that Justine Mae Biticon is hot, AI is for falling in love, a woman crushes watermelons with her thighs, bush is back, the Supreme Court weighs in on XXX, and more. Like it, share it, and / or subscribe to it and get all the sex news that’s fit to print.
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In my first installment of The Reverse Cowgirl Interview series, I interviewed the young masterminds behind the penis laser that was purportedly involved in that fight Jamie Foxx and Jackass franchise-related individuals got into at the Beverly Hills restaurant Mr. Chow. Read it here and subscribe.
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In this edition of The Reverse Cowgirl Roundup: things heat up on the beach in Fort Lauderdale, a sex worker breaks down “romance labor,” a former adult star reveals her most intimate procedures, a lauded lenswoman gets censored, and more. Hit the Subscribe button to get all the sex news that’s fit to print in your inbox.
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In the latest edition of The Reverse Cowgirl newsletter: a gamer and tattoo model is this week’s star, a curious Colorado stripper pole house is showcased on the news, adult content streaming is blocked in Florida, President-elect Donald J. Trump is facing his porn star hush-money conviction sentencing, and more.
(Photo credit: Angela Izzo | model: Pulp)
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The Reverse Cowgirl has over 600 700 subscribers. For all the sex news that’s fit to print, subscribe here.
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In this week’s The Reverse Cowgirl newsletter: Stoya gets spotted on a rooftop by a voyeuristic drone, feminist AI art gets pretty naked and really weird, an abortion clinic gets blessings bestowed upon it, and Matt Gaetz’s sexts get revealed. Like it, share it, subscribe to it and get all the sex news that’s fit to print in your inbox.
(Photo credit: Clayton Cubitt)
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In this week’s edition of The Reverse Cowgirl: a female photographer exposes the strip club hustle, an elementary comic about drawing boobs, an interview with a woman who wrote a memoir about her career as a porn movie editor, and more. Don’t forget to like, share, and/or subscribe to my newsletter.
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The latest edition of my newsletter, The Reverse Cowgirl, is out. In this week’s newsletter: a porn star zine featuring Asa Akira, erotic art tapestries, lusting for Luigi “The Adjuster” Mangione, and more. (Subscribe)
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In this week’s edition of my sex-in-the-news newsletter, The Reverse Cowgirl Diaries: Pamela Anderson is The Last Showgirl, a sex doll factory tour, new erotic books, FUCK|KILL, and more. Hit the button at the bottom of the newsletter to subscribe and get all the sex news that’s fit to print in your email inbox every week.
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In this week’s edition of my newsletter, The Reverse Cowgirl Diaries, I’ve got a pole dancing mom, a substance that makes you hotter, a male porn star monologue, and more! Hit the button at the bottom of the newsletter to subscribe and get all the sex news that’s fit to print in your email inbox every week.
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The latest issue of my newsletter is available. Hit the button at the bottom to subscribe and get it every week.
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I’m continuing to experiment with the format of my newsletter, The Reverse Cowgirl. The last format I had was too complicated. The new format is basically like if I was a coolhunter but for sex and culture. Read it here.
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This is part 15 of “Fuck You, Pay Me,” an ongoing series of posts on writing, editing, and publishing.
I’ve been writing on the internet for a very long time. Since the ‘90s. First, I co-created and co-edited an online literary magazine. Then I had a popular blog. Along the way, I wrote for various publications, digital and print. Today I have my own website with its own blog, and I have various social media channels. Throughout it all, there have been many trends for sharing content online. At one point, you had to have a blog. Then there was that whole pivot to video thing. Somewhere on the route, it was decided that if you weren’t an influencer with clout, you didn’t count. These days, newsletters are the current supposed must-have, and there’s a competitive frenzy over who has the most subscribers, and whether they’re paying subscribers or not, and what said newsletter’s open rate for its emails, and wait how are you monetizing your newsletter in other ways, by the way? In my opinion, newsletters are just one more fad that will boom and bust, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have one. In this edition of Fuck You, Pay Me, I share 10 reasons why you should have a newsletter.
It’s an experiment. Should you have a newsletter? Should you not have a newsletter? If you have one, will anyone read it? If you do it, should you monetize it? If you start it, what should you write about? Who cares? Who knows? Everything is an experiment in the beginning, and things only become successful (or not) in hindsight. My first newsletter was called Valleywood, but when that didn’t feel like a fit for me, I started a new one called The Reverse Cowgirl. The latter feels like a better fit. It took some experimenting to figure that out. But the experimenting, the not-knowing, was required to reach the solution.
It’s creative. Before I landed on my current newsletter format, which is kind of written like a personal and professional diary, I tried writing my newsletter in various formats. A listicle. A bunch of photos. An essay. More personal and less professional. More professional and less personal. I even used AI to write one (a fact that I disclosed). More recently, I landed on a format I seem to like the best, which is both personal and professional, which incorporates, among other things, a mini-listicle and what I’m doing writing-wise, and which combines a set of different things that appeal to me. This means I have a basic structure that makes the newsletter easier to do and more consistent, but it also means that I can do a bunch of different things within that format, which basically sums up my entire career.
It’s multimedia. If you’re posting on social media, you’re probably posting content in one or two mediums. On X, that may be text. On Instagram, that may be an image. On TikTok, that may be video. On Substack, which is the newsletter platform I use, you can do all of those things: write, post images, share video. You can embed social media posts. You can use Substack’s stock photos or its AI image generator. You can share live video. This multimedia approach appeals to me, someone who writes and takes photos and spends too much time on social media. I want to do all the things, not just the one thing. This multimedia approach may also be more appealing to your subscribers, some of whom may be more text-oriented and some of whom may be more visually-oriented.
It’s free. On Substack, as long as your newsletter is free to subscribers, there are no costs. You don’t need any special equipment, it’s easy to set up and get started, and there’s no charge for you to send your newsletter to your subscribers. If you enable paid subscriptions—start charging your subscribers to read some or all of your newsletter content—there are fees, which are outlined here. But otherwise, Substack is a free tool, one that you can use to experiment with, create multimedia content with, and share with, and that makes it an attractive option. Of course, Substack isn’t the only newsletter platform, and there are others, which have their own pricing.
It has no editor. As someone who has been writing forever, I’ve had a lot of editors over the years. Some are great and have improved my writing. Some are so-so and don’t have much of an impact. Some are terrible and shouldn’t be allowed to edit their own shopping lists. With my newsletter, I have no editor. No gatekeeper who gets to green flag or red flag what I want to write about. No person meddling with my prose. No point-of-view I have to take into consideration when trying to decide if I should or shouldn’t write about something of interest to me. If you’re a weak or inexperienced writer, not having an editor may be a downside, but for me, it’s all good when the editor is not only not in my head but doesn’t exist.
It’s uncensored-ish. This isn’t exactly true and not without complications, but I would argue that Substack takes a mostly hands-off approach to content moderation, within reason. (You can find Substack’s Terms of Use here and Content Guidelines here.) This aspect of Substack is not without complications, but for someone like me, whose newsletter’s subject matter is sex, it makes a difference that I not be creating on a platform that has a hair-trigger approach to content moderation, like, say, Instagram. Substack allows “depictions of nudity for artistic, journalistic, or related purposes, as well as erotic literature, however, we have a strict no nudity policy for profile images.” And that’s good enough for me.
It’s personal. There’s something intimate about email, isn’t there? Set aside the spam, the generic newsletters from Big Companies, the annoying notes from your boss wanting to know when that thing you’re supposed to do will be done. When the email is from the right person or strikes the right tone, an email can generate a kind of intimacy that random shit posted across the internet can’t. It seems personal. It seems like it’s for you. It allows the subscriber to feel like they have an intimate relationship with the newsletter writer. And that’s valuable. Because that sense of intimacy, even if it’s an illusion, even if, as in the case of pornography, it’s a known illusion, is what will keep subscribers subscribed.
It’s not content calendar driven. Those who have toiled in the content mines of social media copywriting, as I have, know that content calendars are ravenous beasts. Your words and images become content. Your posts become empty spaces on a digital calendar that must be filled. You start googling the holidays for the month you’re working on in hopes that will inspire you to create something really high performing in honor of National Hot Dog Day. Unless you want it to, newsletters don’t have any of that. And for free newsletters, you can feel free to write whatever you want to write whenever you want to write it. Deadlines? Fuhgeddaboudit. Maybe you like deadlines—in which case, go for it. Maybe you want to have a content calendar. By all means, don’t let me stop you. But the strategic plan for your newsletter is for you to devise and execute as you see fit.
It’s a revenue generator. Your newsletter may make you money, or it may not. It may generate revenue for you directly, through, say, paid subscriptions. Or it may generate revenue for you indirectly, by, for example, getting your name and work in front of someone who likes it, who reaches out to you, and who pays you to do something for them because they saw you do something similar in your newsletter. Or by selling some other product you’re selling, like, say, a book. But one thing is for sure: You will never make money from a newsletter that you never create, that you never publish, that you never write. The only way to find out if your newsletter is a revenue generator is by starting to write it with no guarantee that it will deliver a return on your time and effort investment.
It’s fun. For those who are tired of hustle culture and monetizable stoicism and the self as brand, a newsletter can be a place to return to one’s original state: a state of play. When you can do whatever you want, you start to do interesting things. When you realize there is no fence around the field, you start running beyond the old perimeter. When you allow yourself to not be right, to not care, to forget what you’re doing and just start doing, you begin to change what you’re doing, how you’re doing, and who you are. And that’s worth it, not matter who you are or what you do, how much you have or how much you don’t, whether anyone reads a word of it or if it’s just a thing for the only person that matters: you.
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Welcome to The Reverse Cowgirl Diaries, a behind-the-scenes look at my life as a sex writer and all the weird shit that entails. From my recent sexplorations to my current obsessions, this weekly newsletter takes you into the mind of someone who has seen too many porn movies. In RCD #5: I get obsessed with inmates who are looking for love, you can read the first paragraph of my porn novel-in-progress, and what happened when a guy offered me thousands of dollars to promote a sex-related company. Read this week’s newsletter here.
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I know as a “serious” creative, which I’ve never really considered myself to be, you’re supposed to hate AI, but I had so much fun when I used Meta AI to create my latest newsletter. With prompting, Meta AI made up sex toys and virtual erotic poetry readings and fiction it claimed I wrote. There were some fascinating exchanges between me and Meta AI along the way, too. I also really had fun using Substack’s somewhat limited but whatever AI image generator to illustrate the newsletter. In any case, check it out here and subscribe.
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Welcome to The Reverse Cowgirl Diaries, a behind-the-scenes look at my life as a sex writer and all the weird shit that entails. From my recent sexplorations to my current obsessions, this weekly newsletter takes you into the mind of someone who has seen too many porn movies. In RCD #3: What happens at a virtual strip club? Why is my short story called “The Scopophiliac”? Would you or someone you love wear a lip gloss called Pussyhole Pink? You can find the answers here. Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share.
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Welcome to The Reverse Cowgirl Diaries, a behind-the-scenes look at my life as a sex writer and all the weird shit that entails. From my recent sexplorations to my current obsessions, this weekly newsletter takes you into the mind of someone who has seen too many porn movies. In RCD #2: Why are AI nudes so creepy? Is ethical smut a thing? Is it porn mail or porn male? Read it here. And don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share!
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Over on my newsletter, I’ve changed the format. Moving forward, it’ll be delivered as The Reverse Cowgirl Diaries. The first one is: “The Reverse Cowgirl Diaries #1: Recent Perversions.” In total, it’s a way for me to share some of what it’s like writing about sex and the weird shit that entails. This week’s edition includes my latest journalism, a music video about underpants, and a flashback to a porn star in a bathroom. Check it out here. Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share. Every Sunday night, it’ll arrive in your inbox.
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