Do You Live in DC?
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
Return
Scream
One Year Ago
See this Instagram photo by @susannahbreslin * 6 likes
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
What I'm Reading
“Let's get one thing clear right now, shall we? There is no Idea Dump, no Story Central, no Island of the Buried Bestsellers; good story ideas seem to come quite literally from nowhere, sailing at you right out of the empty sky: two previously unrelated ideas come together and make something new under the sun. Your job isn't to find these ideas but to recognize them when they show up.” -- Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
Hollywood Double Mastectomies
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
How to Get a Job in Reality TV
I was lucky enough to have a few weeks-long gig recently working on developing a few reality TV show ideas.
Here's what I learned:
Have fun
The hard thing about writing books is that they're sometimes no fun. Reality TV? It's entertainment. You could say the bar is lowered, but maybe the bar is raised on having a good time.
Stop trying
The reason I got the gig is that the producer found me on the internet. Sometimes you have to try hard to get something. Sometimes it just falls into your lap.
You aren't perfect
I was better at some aspects of this work than others. But even the stuff I wasn't great at helped because it made me more able to get it right the next time I worked on it.
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
Trump Rally, Florida
See this Instagram photo by @susannahbreslin * 7 likes
See this Instagram photo by @susannahbreslin * 6 likes
See this Instagram photo by @susannahbreslin * 6 likes
See this Instagram photo by @susannahbreslin * 3 likes
See this Instagram photo by @susannahbreslin * 14 likes
See this Instagram photo by @susannahbreslin * 9 likes
See this Instagram photo by @susannahbreslin * 4 likes
See this Instagram photo by @susannahbreslin * 8 likes
See this Instagram photo by @susannahbreslin * 7 likes
See this Instagram photo by @susannahbreslin * 3 likes
See this Instagram photo by @susannahbreslin * 5 likes
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
Just Say No
See this Instagram photo by @susannahbreslin * 7 likes
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
Things That Are Helpful When You Do Muay Thai Boxing
The Vineyard
See this Instagram photo by @susannahbreslin * 11 likes
I spent a couple weeks on Martha's Vineyard. I was there working. This was the hallway to my room, at night, lit by the EXIT sign. It looks like something out of "The Shining," doesn't it? First, it was warm. Then, it was cool. I took some walks to the lighthouse. Eventually, I was ready to leave, and then I did.
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
TGIF
How Well Are You Received?
See this Instagram photo by @susannahbreslin * 3 likes
The guy walks in and takes a look at Vincent van Gogh's latest work. It's La Berceuse. Why is her face so yellow? the guy wants to know. He points at the woman's strange hands. What have you mangled there? the guy queries, clearly annoyed. I don't like this, the man says. It's just too weird. (Just ignore him.)
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
Hood By Porn
Image via Vogue.com
I talked to Pornhub about their New York Fashion Week collaboration with Hood By Air on my Forbes blog: "How a Porn Company and a Fashion Brand Shocked New York Fashion Week."
Do you think we’ll see more of this in the future — porn companies collaborating with mainstream companies?
There’s immense potential for fashion brands to collaborate with Pornhub. As more and more fashion brands continue their foray into the digital ad ecosystem, they are looking to overhaul their marketing approach by leaning toward a more refreshingly modern and edgy attitude in terms of exposure. And that’s exactly what Pornhub provides.
[Forbes]
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
Redecorating
I made a few functionally minor, aesthetically significant changes to this website recently. I changed the background image to GUNS! And I rewrote my ABOUT page. I've long wrestled with saying who I am and what I do. Am I a journalist? A fiction writer? A, as of late, reality TV producer? A maker of comics? A photographer? A blogger? This time, I decided, I'm all of those.
Here's what it reads now:
ABOUT ...
I'm a journalist, a novelist, a copywriter, a reality TV producer, a photojournalist, a maker of comics, a blogger, an editor, and a pundit. In 2008, TIME named me one of the best bloggers of the year. I've been described as a "modern-age Studs Terkel," a "rare commodity online," and a "certifiable asshole." If you're interested in contacting me, you can email me at susannahbreslin at gmail dot com.
I also changed my profile photo here and elsewhere. It's rather dark. It's a selfie I took backstage before an improv performance.
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
Preps
See this Instagram photo by @susannahbreslin * 14 likes
Where I grew up, they didn't have people like this. I guess it's an East Coast thing. I gawked at them when I saw them. They were on their way to a wedding. They saw me agog and smirked.
I don't think they really got what I was thinking.
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
Don't Do It
See this Instagram photo by @susannahbreslin * 12 likes
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
Wiener-Dog
In "Wiener-Dog," the wiener-dog is life. With its head held upright pertly, and its stupid legs too short for its body, it is a thing to which things happen. In fact, that would make wiener-dog not life, but you. There's: a weird couple, mentally disabled people, a brilliant Ellen Burstyn, Julie Delpy as a monster, dog shit, dog shitting blood, neurotic everybodies, a hostile teacher of screenwriting, and a maybe fucked up girl on drugs with a boyfriend named Fantasy. This is Todd Solondz, of course, who else would it be? You won't like it if you don't like freaks, if you're not a freak. Everyone is either unstable or unhappy or in denial regarding their instability and/or their unhappiness. It's a series of stories, like an anthology or a collection of essays, with that dim dog traipsing its way through. There's even an absurd intermission. If you're stupid and small, don't watch it.
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
Car Wash
See this Instagram photo by @susannahbreslin * 7 likes
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.
This Is Not Correct (Your Dick Is in the Way)
Image by Mr. Birthmark
In the comments of "The Long, Dark Process of Creating HBO's 'The Night Of,'" a commenter asserted that HBO's "The Deuce," David Simon's in-production series on porn in 1970's New York City starring James Franco and Maggie Gyllenhaal, "began" as a show I pitched to HBO.
This is an amusing idea, but, as far as I know, not the case. Last year, I wrote about a series that I'd pitched as a potential HBO project to Stephen Levinson by way of Ari Emanuel several years ago, which I described as a "21st century 'Boogie Nights,'" but, as I stated in the post, "[I]t never went anywhere."
Still, this random reinventing of the story is amusing, although, you know, incorrect. It's too bad, though, that my idea has yet to see the light of day. I look forward to seeing Simon's show, but everybody knows that men can't write about porn--not honestly, anyway. Their dicks get in the way. Only women get how it really works.
In any case, here's the incorrect comment that the commenter commented on The A.V. Club:
The show began as Susannah Breslin pitching HBO a 'porn drama . . . akin to a 21st century “Boogie Nights”' that got tabled once James Franco was pulled into the discussion and started talking about the show HE wanted to make.
I'm glad Simon is working on this now but there was pretty much nobody more qualified to tell such a story than Breslin, and it sucks that her spin got rejected in favor of the more commercial one. She would have made something more disgusting, depressing and unique (and the fact that the story is set in the 70s and based on real life just means people will throw even more criticisms at it for ripping off Boogie Nights. )
Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.