My 2019 Resolutions
Be
More
Chill
Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."
Things That Make It Easier to Write
Wearing hats
A room with a view that doesn’t entice one to leave it
Your blancoat (a coat that is so warm and cuddly that it feels like a blanket but has sleeves and a hood so that if you leave the house for food you appear to be dressed like a normal person)
No headaches
The vague belief that well-told stories manifest their fictional realities
Caffeine of choice
An internal sea of self-dissatisfaction
Somebody else’s beautiful creation (ie “Roma”)
Talent
Lying to yourself: “You’re almost done,” “You can do this,” “This is going to be amazing”
Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."
Image via eBay
Walkabout
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Recently, I’ve started walking again for several reasons. I gained some weight. It helps with anxiety. When I’m walking, I feel like I’m in control of something, even if it’s that my body is moving forward. Most of the time, I think about something related to work. On walks is a place where mental organization and sometimes epiphanies take place. Possibly, it’s also a situation that makes me feel small. In the world, you are tiny. At home, you are big. So far, it’s going pretty good. My brain is settling, relaxing, easing. Writing is a lot like walking. Just keep going.
Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."
Making up with the Kardashians
What the fuck makes this video so hypnotic? It is 10 minutes and 31 seconds long, it has nearly 2.3M views, and I watched the whole thing without fast-forwarding. In it, Kim Kardashian puts makeup on her face. Basically, that’s it. Sure, she talks. Yes, products are plugged. In theory, one is learning something. But what exactly are we witnessing here? Surely, it must be more than that. Whatever it is, it is simultaneously shallow (she is smearing substances across her visage) and deep (watching it, one falls into a vicarious, Narcissus-esque stupor: If only we could wallow in our own superficiality so exquisitely). Or, perhaps, it’s something else. What surprised me (quietly!) about the piece was that she didn’t just directly build herself a new face—she obliterated her real face first. When we start, her face is naked. Then she turns her tableaux into a blank canvas. After that, she paints another face over the face she eliminated. What does this represent? The female desire to disappear? The culture’s interest in vanishing her? Something else altogether? Kim is droning on about something or other while she smears on another layer of spackle. Before we can get a handle on her, she’s gone already.
Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."
The House That Jack Built
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I mean, is anybody a fan of Lars von Trier, really? I happen to be intrigued by him, because if you can say one thing about him is that he’s never boring. Or, at least, even when he’s boring, it’s because he’s doing something outrageous to death. Speaking of outrageous and death, LVT has a new flick out, and you don’t have to walk out of a theater at Cannes to see it. “The House That Jack Built” is available for streaming on Amazon. Convenient! Nothing like home delivered endless slaughter of women and others in scenarios in which the victim fairly makes the killer kill, I always say. The movie’s best kill, if you will, is the first one, when Matt Dillon, aka Jack, kills Uma Thurman, who plays a really annoying woman. Because this is LVT, you’re not sure if you’re supposed to laugh hysterically, feel grim, or just hold on for the duration of the ride. But, boy, can Uma take a jack to the head. In any case, you can look at the movie as a series of vignettes in which Jack murders people, or you can look at it as a meditative study on the creative process as told through the persona of someone who happens to use murder as his tool d’art. Frankly, the mutterings of Jack to a Virgil stand-in are the most interesting parts of the movie, particularly when Jack waxes philosophical about how matter dictates its form in art. Don’t search #thehousethatjackbuilt on Instagram, like I did, if you don’t want to have the penultimate shocker spoiled for you. It’s crude, but this is LVT, isn’t it? I won’t mention the part with the windshield wiper; I mean, that’s just ugly (or is it?). We have come to expect this sort of thing from the enfant terrible of Dogme 95. What I could never quite resolve with Jack is if LVT is trolling masculinity or wallowing in it. Toxic masculinity is a fair thing in which to flail. To attempt to redux The Inferno, the place to which the film devolves, is a mistake. Stay in your am-I-a-misogynist-or-not lane, LVT! Alighieri you ain’t.
Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."
You Must Bookmark This
Image via The New Statesman
“A Year in Reading: Lydia Kiesling” on The Millions is terrific. You have to read it. So do it.
I became obsessed with Norwegian and Swedish social policies. Back with Karl Ove, I underlined every part where he scoffed at Swedish sanctimony and hypocrisy. TRY LIVING HERE, I would scream in my head, to no one. I couldn’t help noting that this reading assignment was the corner office in the women’s work of thinking about men who are not thinking about you.
Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."
You Make No Sense
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This is a photo I posted to Instagram of a transcript from video footage of me. I am the only one speaking in it. I have no recollection of saying most of it. Who are these marine organisms?
Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."
You Should Wait for It
Image via MoMA
I have an essay forthcoming in the “Fine Lines” series on Longreads. It’s called “Ravaged,” and the series itself is about aging. This piece isn’t like anything I’ve written … in a while? … ever? After the last round of edits I did on it, I clicked send to the editor and then thought, Well, I’ll never get another date or another job after this gets published. But that’s probably a sign of good writing. Or at least writing at the risk of embarrassment. I’ll post a link here when it’s online.
Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."
You're Not Reading This
Image via Pinterest
After some time off, I have been blogging more lately. One thing that’s different is that I’m not posting links to these posts on social media; at least, not at the moment. In the deluge of the attention economy, is no attention the new high-value asset? I’ve spent most of my career pulling revenue from two threads: more creative work and more commercial work. I was able to be successful doing commercial work because I understood how to monetize attention and how to grow it. I did that sort of work for companies ranging from Time Warner to Procter & Gamble. The age-old question is: Does commercial work kill creative work? I never found that to be the case. I felt they were Siamese twins: inextricably linked. Whatever I was doing commercially tended to inform whatever I was doing creatively and vice versa; the relationship was symbiotic. What happens if you stop paying attention to how many people are paying attention? Obviously, this site has traffic stats, but I haven’t looked at them. If you write like no one is reading, if you speak like no one is listening, if you act like no one is watching, what happens next?
Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."
What I'm Reading
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I’m reading Ted Conover’s Immersion: A Writer’s Guide to Going Deep. Highly recommend it. It’s a great guide to embedded journalism. Not for pussies.
Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."
I'm in a Library
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I’ve fallen back in love with libraries, as of late. I used to think they were graveyards filled with tombstones. Now I see they’re immortal. All those stories between the covers. My favorite libraries have shelves so big you have to turn a wheel to pry them a part and walk between them.
Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."
I'm Searching for Strippers
A journalist friend of mine is working on a story about dancers in New Orleans. Got a lead? Know someone that would be good for her to talk to? Email me at susannahbreslin @ gmail, and I’ll connect you.
Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."
I'm Giving TM a Try
9 Likes, 0 Comments - Susannah Breslin (@susannahbreslin) on Instagram: "I just signed up for #transcendentalmeditation 🙏🏼"
Following in the footsteps of my personal heroes David Lynch and Ray Dalio, and on the heels of trouble with migraines, I’m going to give Transcendental Meditation a try. (Image from my Instagram feed)
Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."
I'm Looking Forward to Seeing "Vice"
I’m ready to see “Vice,” the Dick Cheney pic by Adam “The Big Short” McKay. There’s a lot of good stuff in this NYT profile of McKay, including this part:
“Recently, a sizable portion of the left has adopted surprising, relatively sanguine attitudes toward the Bush-Cheney years. I asked McKay, who directed a scathingly satirical 2009 Broadway show about Bush called, ‘You’re Welcome America,’ whether he saw his unsparing portrait of Cheney in ‘Vice’ — humanizing gestures notwithstanding — as a would-be corrective to liberal amnesia on this score. ‘I hope to God that it is,’ McKay said, nodding. ‘Really what that shows you is the number of people for whom government is just about appearance. Bush and Cheney just kept up the facade, whereas this administration doesn’t even remotely pretend. So when I hear people say, “I miss the days of Bush and Cheney,” what they’re really saying is, “I miss the days when people would at least pretend.”’” He went on: ‘Every time I see it, I shake my head, like, “You’ve got to be kidding me. The world economy collapsed, we had the greatest military fiasco in U.S. history apart from Vietnam.” When I hear “Trump makes you miss Bush,” I go, “There’s no question that Bush and Cheney are way ahead of him in terms of damage done.”’” He characterized such Bush nostalgia bluntly: “Now that my house is on fire, I long for when it was infested by bees.”’”
Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."
I'm Thinking About Investigative Journalism
Image via WomenYeah
As of late, I’ve had the opportunity to immerse myself in investigative journalism, and I have a few takeaways.
Investigative journalism is a boy’s club.
It is the responsibility of the men who run it to include women in it.
FOIAs are overrated.
Voice, storytelling, and serendipitous reporting are more important.
There isn’t one way to do it. There’s your way to do it.
People of color are excluded from it by the white men who run it.
You’re not a savior. You’re a reporter.
It isn’t easy.
Learn the tools and keep them in your toolbox.
If you can’t get in the front door, climb in a window.
Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."
Seeking Writers for Forbes Vices
Image via Pulse.ng
As the editor of Forbes Vices, I oversee a team of contributors that cover the business of vice on the website. That includes the cannabis, gambling, firearms, smoking, drinking, and sex business. If you’re a writer with a track record of published work in established outlets covering those beats, drop me an email.
Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."
Recommended Binge Watch: Homecoming
“Homecoming” is an extremely weird and attractively disorienting new series on Amazon. What’s it about? That’s hard to explain. A woman with a troubled memory. A place that seems like it’s Florida, but who knows, really. A roomful of men who are looking for help that no one is sure they’re getting. It’s shot in two different ways that eventually converge. Julia Roberts is … curious, and Bobby Cannavale is … creepy. It seems boring at first, but, trust me, it’s not.
Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."
This Is Not a Selfie
Goggle: How Not to Become a Male Porn Star
This is goggle
If you’re a longtime follower of my work, you know that I regularly receive emails from men who are interested in becoming performers in the adult movie industry. That is thanks to a Forbes post I wrote, “The Hardest Thing About Being a Male Porn Star,” which has over 2.1M views. The only advice I can give the latest emailer is to maybe try a search engine other than goggle.
Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."
Ratioed
Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."