Your Sunday Zen
All the News That's Unfit to Print: 12.14.13
Fucking a drone isn’t like what you’d think. [Clarkesworld]
This journalist knows why strippers hate their jobs. [Slate]
You're dating a porn bot. [Pando]
The mirror has two faces and so does this guy. [Fashion Copious]
It's the scholarly journal on porn for which you have been waiting. [NYT]
How to Photoshop the Flashdance girl. [Digital Arts]
What models think. [YouTube]
The glamorous life of a porn store clerk. [Salon]
"Moral disgust has all too often been put to immoral ends." [Nautilus]
Lizzy Caplan gets hammered. [USA Today]
So much for PlayStation sex shows. [Engadget]
Walgreens stopped selling a zombie dildo. [Walgreens]
Do not invite this guy to your orgy. [WSJ]
Tom Jones interviews Kate Moss. [Playboy]
Idiot with elf ears heckles Terry Richardson. [Instagram]
ATLAS the robot is coming for your women. [YouTube]
Lady Gaga uses a scorpion as a pastie. [Karl Is My Unkle]
Well, it certainly wasn't James Deen's fault. [Radar]
This is a personal kill. [TMN]
Chanel Preston has been naughty. [Instagram]
Single Mannequin
Single mannequin, Hollywood, CA / Photo credit: Susannah Breslin
Fuck in the New York Times
Recently, the New York Times published the word "fuck." Here, the paper's public editor, Margaret Sullivan, explains why.
"Some readers have questioned the use of vulgarity in the series, including two instances of 'the f-word' in Thursday’s installment, the most notable of which is in a quotation from Dasani’s mother as she addresses her directly. It’s highly unusual for The Times.
The associate managing editor for standards, Philip B. Corbett, explained:
'We had a very thorough discussion of the use of the vulgarities in that passage, which are certainly not the norm for us. The writer and editors avoided language like that in other places. But they made a strong argument that the full quotations were important in this very crucial scene. In the end, we decided that for readers, more would be lost than gained if we tried to write around those passages here. And we concluded that using that language in this one spot — but not repeatedly scattered throughout the articles — would not be likely to distract or offend many readers. Our basic guidelines about avoiding vulgarities and obscenities haven’t changed, but we all recognize that there are cases where an exception is justified.'"
The quotes in question:
- "'Shut the fuck up,' she says. 'You know, that’s one thing I don’t like about you — your negativity. You always talkin’ about the problem. You got a solution?'"
"She think she some-fucking-body."
[NYT / Related: "Satan Is Offended"]
Nigella Bukkake
Drone Porn
From "Toward a Drone Sexuality - Part 1: Knowledge and Consent":
"We—the dronesexual, the recently defined, though we only call ourselves this name to ourselves and only ever with the deepest irony—we’re never sure whether the humming is pleasure or whether it’s a form of transmission, but we also don’t really care…There are no dronesexual support groups. We don’t have conferences. There is no established discourse around who we are and what we do. No one writes about us but us, not yet."
How Much I Got Paid: #2
Title: "What No One Tells You About Breast Cancer"
Publication: Women's Health Online
Date: October 1, 2013
Word count: 517
Payment: $1,000
Notes: I was approached by an editor at Women's Health Online to write this essay. They were doing a series of stories on breast cancer for National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and this would be the inaugural essay. She asked me what I charge. I responded, "These days, I mostly work in the $3/word vein." This is called bluffing. She offered me $1,000. I agreed. I spent about an hour working on a first draft of the essay. That version was gut-wrenching, complex, and probably not a fit for the venue. I spent an hour or two writing what would be the final draft of the story. That version is straightforward, simple, and uplifting. The essay includes before-and-after photos of what I looked like during chemo (bald) and what I looked like after (not bald).
Conclusion: How much I got paid < cost of cancer treatment.
Banned in Australia
"TV watchdogs in Australia have banned a condom commercial for being too sexy." [NY Daily News]
Black Mirror
I was introduced to the amazing "Black Mirror" by Clayton Cubitt. It's must-see TV.
"On the other hand, I haven’t the slightest idea what to expect from a show that opens with a terrorist demanding the prime minister have intercourse with a pig on national television. But that’s how the first episode of Black Mirror begins.
[...]
There aren’t a lot of jokes about sex with pigs, because the prospect of someone actually having sex with a pig is not particularly funny. Which is not to say there aren’t any jokes: In my favorite scene, two hospital orderlies see the terrorists’ detailed specifications for how the unspeakable event must be filmed and get into an argument about Dogme 95."
[Slate]
Hit It List
Not Givenchy
Conflict of Interest Red Foil Raunch Tee Limited Edition, $65 [COI]
How Much I Got Paid: #1
Title: "How Do I Become a Male Porn Star?"
Publication: Salon
Date: December 2, 2013
Word count: 1,262
Payment: $150
Notes: I wrote this piece on spec; in other words, I wrote the piece and then set about placing it. Typically, I don't write on spec. Instead, I pitch editors, get a contract, and then write the piece. I probably spent a total of two, maybe three hours writing this story over a couple days. I ended up sending it to five different editors. Four expressed interest. But there were various issues with those various responses. Eventually, I heard back from the editor I'd sent it to at Salon; I'd worked with her previously and knew she wasn't going to fuck up the piece. I believe I was paid $300 for the last piece I wrote for Salon several years ago; this time, she said she could only offer me $150. I accepted. The piece was good, I trusted the editor, and in this instance, I wanted the piece where it belonged and didn't give that much of a shit about the money.
Conclusion: It's OK to write on spec -- sometimes.
Must-See TV
TLC has a new show, "Sex Sent Me to the ER":
"In the premiere episode, 24-year-old Gregg is caught off guard when his girlfriend Jen tries to take their relationship to the next level. Four hundred and forty pounds and still a virgin, Gregg is determined to pull out all the stops for his first time. But passion takes a dramatic turn when in the middle of making love, Gregg accidentally sends his girlfriend headfirst through the wall and ultimately to the ER. Then, after a night of performing and drinking, rock ‘n' roll guitarist and singer Cash is ready to put on a show in the bedroom with girlfriend Anne. But after a wall-shaking round of sex, Cash collapses and is unable to move his arm and leg. He ignores his symptoms at first but a trip to the ER soon reveals a surprising diagnosis. And Dr. Kevin Klauer is treating a man with a broken penis whose situation is further complicated when both his wife and girlfriend show up at the hospital. Though the threesome appears to be on good terms at first, the women begin to argue over what caused the injury, which quickly leads to an additional patient for Dr. Klauer to treat."
Supergirl
Jon Stewart, Fetishist
Today
Sexcamming in Romania
How to be a sexcam star in Romania:
"The key, even for erotic models, is to keep your clothes on for as long as possible, which isn't too difficult because ejaculation is less of a priority for members than you’d imagine. Most of them are divorced men looking for a little companionship. From Anica’s description, modeling sounds a lot like working in sales: ask them lots of questions about themselves and be interested in what they say and they’ll love you forever—or at least until their money runs out. Eventually they might ask you to take your clothes off, at which point you’re expected to lie back and get it over with."
[Vice]
We're All Gladiators
Some Velvet Morning
The Price of Perversion
Photographer Clayton Cubitt explains why he's self-censoring:
"But honestly, there’s very little incentive for an artist to publish even modestly sexual visual work online. This is specially true when an artist also does work that requires patronage from often-skittish and culturally conservative corporations. Sexual images become extremely popular with rebloggers, and begin to crowd out more mainstream images, leading to an inaccurate survey of an artist’s oeuvre. While it might be superficially satisfying to have many thousand reblogs on a sexual/nude image, these many thousand reblogs are not worth even a single tiny poorly-paid ad campaign, which they might cost by scaring clients away when those clients do Google Image searches."