Who Dated Who on 'Sex and the City'?
Image credit: HBO
I'm embarrassed to report that not only did I do the "Can You Guess Who Dated Who on 'Sex and the City'?" quiz, but I only got 11 out of 15 right.
[BuzzFeed]
That's What He Said
Sex in Space
Image credit: Sports Illustrated
If you were thinking about becoming an astronaut so you could have sex in space, think again. BuzzFeed has a listicle featuring "9 Reasons Why Having Sex in Space Is a Horrible Idea."
"In microgravity, sweat doesn’t drip down your body. Instead it clings to your skin and forms pools, Millis said. If you were engaging in some heavy, vigorous sex, then blobs of liquid would be flying all over the place."
[BuzzFeed]
Kim Kardashian Sex Doll Love
Image via Kim Kardashian
The Porn Site That Hollywood Built
Image via Untapped Cities
Jason Reitman, gross, tells the Huffington Post, gag, that he created a real porn site for his movie about the internet and the people who patronize it.
"'We had a guy whose job, full-time, was to look at porn ... and find thumbnails so we could create Pornhub pages so that it looked as though someone was searching things and things were coming up,' Reitman told HuffPost Live's Roy Sekoff. 'So that guy, for weeks, he just watched porn and came up with thumbnails and titles to clips.'"
Congratulations, dickhead.
[HuffPo]
That Girl with That Butt
Memo from the Corrections Department
Image credit: Trojan Brand Condoms
The Facebook Whisperer says this status update should have wryly informed consumers not to use Trojan condoms past their expiration date.
[Facebook]
Jennifer Lawrence Naked. Again. But This Time It's OK.
Image credit: Vanity Fair
Oh, hey, it's Jennifer Lawrence naked in Vanity Fair. Well, not entirely naked because her outfit is a big snake.
Patrick Demarchelier snapped the pic which is an homage to this pic by Richard Avedon.
So it's OK for you to see her naked if she says it's OK to see her naked, but it's not OK for you to see her naked if she says it's not OK to see her naked.
Glad we cleared that up.
VF reports:
"Last July 29, on a Patrick Demarchelier shoot at a private residence in the Hollywood Hills, a giant Colombian red-tailed boa constrictor spent most of the day cooped up in a perforated, extra-large storage container managed by two very capable handlers. When it came time for the snake to take his star turn, there was frightfully little between him and Jennifer Lawrence—only a long metal rod with a hook at the end. The actress proved to be very brave and nonchalant about having a serpent wrapped around her body—an homage to the 1981 Richard Avedon Vogue portrait of Nastassja Kinski that launched a million dorm-room posters—and coolly focused her eyes on the camera."
One can assume they take pains to point out the date of the shoot in order to make clear the photo was done prior to her nude photo leaks last August.
[Vanity Fair via Fashion Copious]
Poop Emoji Dress
Image credit: Betabrand
Betabrand is deciding whether or not to make a poop-emoji dress for women to follow their poop-emoji shirt for men.
Adweek's David Griner coos: "This is truly a golden age for the poo emoji, that fecund swirl who's become the messaging embodiment of all things odious."
The company is crowdfunding this shit. It's an exciting time for coprophagiacs.
Looks like they're also doing poop-emoji shoes.
[Adweek via Rob Walker]
Cronenberg Does Hollywood
Behold the trailer for David Cronenberg's latest, "Maps to the Stars." It is rated R and contains STRONG DISTURBING VIOLENCE AND SEXUAL CONTENT, GRAPHIC NUDITY, LANGUAGE AND SOME DRUG MATERIAL. So, the usual Cronenberg.
Variety reports:
"But the film’s most au courant and inflammatory conceit is no doubt the portrait of the 13-year-old mega-star, Benjie Weiss (Evan Bird), a kid just out of rehab whose longtime success on TV and $780 million gross for his latest film allow him to call his agent stuff like 'Jew faggot' and get away with it. He also thinks it’s funny when he labels people 'vabinas' and, on a would-be goodwill visit, asks a hospitalized young girl how her AIDS is doing."
[iTunes]
The Rent of the Porn Industry
Image via The Civilians
A New York theater troupe interviewed porn stars in Porn Valley about their business and turned their research into a musical: "Pretty Filthy."
"The Civilians are laying bare the lives of porn stars in their newest production, 'Pretty Filthy.' A behind-the-scenes musical about the adult entertainment industry, drawn as always from extensive interviews with players in the business itself, the new show features songs by the company’s go-to composer-lyricist, the supremely gifted Michael Friedman (known for 'Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson,' among others); a book by Bess Wohl; and direction by Steve Cosson, the troupe’s founding artistic director."
[NYT]
Panytime!
Image credit: American Apparel
Hey, it's Julie. She's ready for Pantytime. So says American Apparel. This would be a great candidate for litvertising.
[AA]
Ladies Aren't Gentleman
[via This Isn't Happiness]
Sluts Unite!
Image credit: The Political Carnival
"Should 'Slut' Be Retired?" Anna North wants to know. History: slut was bad, then it was good, now it's bad again. Apparently. Fucking tiresome!
Some asshat wrote a book called I Am Not a Slut. (Congrats on that.) The author, polysyllabic, claims: the word slut "is too dangerous to be reclaimed." Fucking A.
I need a trigger warning for this op-ed. I need a trigger warning for women who need trigger warnings. I need a trigger warning for trigger warnings. I need a trigger warning for women who think the word slut is "dangerous."
Thankfully, some women are still sluts and proud. "Just Fucked Edelman No Lie" is this week's slut hero. Slutty and proud! Slutty and uploading it! Sluttiness maximized! You go, slut! That chick wins the XLIX Superbowl of sluts, in my book.
There are many following paragraphs in which intensely dull people share convoluted ideas regarding sluthood ad infinitum.
As I noted on my Twitter, in Porn Valley, one director used to refer to his stars on his box covers (remember those?!) as cum dumpsters. So take your "slut," and shut up.
Thick vs Thin
Image credit: ET
Look, a plus-sized model, Ashley Graham, is featured in an ad in Sports Illustrated's swimsuit issue. Everyone is excited.
"'I know my curves are sexy and I want everyone else to know that theirs are too. There is no reason to hide and every reason to flaunt,' Graham says in a statement," reports everybody.
Girl looks good. Thick is the new thin.
[ET]
Git It Lubed
Image credit: 1stdbs
I just want to know who bought this ten-foot LUBRICATION sign and what they're doing with it.
[1stdbs]
Are You Ready?
Graphic Tattoos
Image credit: Nathan Jurgenson
Porn star Stoya has a blog: Graphic Descriptions.
Here, in Paris, she shows off her new tattoo:
"Jessa tattooed me; 'Negative Impact on Public Health,' quoted from the 9th circuit’s decision to uphold Measure B. The catalyst for both my politics and my writing, under my skin.
I think it’s important to remember—how I felt reading that ruling, that to parts of the world I and all sex workers will always be reduced to inhuman vectors of disease and societal ill."
[Stoya]
What Happens When Your Father Is a Pornographer
The New York Times Magazine goes long on porn: "My Dad, the Pornographer."
Image via ePub Bud
"My father often told me that if not for pornography, he’d have become a serial killer. On two occasions he described the same story: One night in college he resolved to kill a woman, any woman. He carried a butcher knife beneath his coat and stalked the campus, seeking a target. It rained all night, and the only person walking around was him. He went home, soaked, miserable and alone, regretting the action. He began drawing a comic about stalking a woman."
[NYT]
Magic Mike Is Back and Bigger Than Ever
Finally. The trailer for "Magic Mike XXL." We can hardly wait. It looks like the plot involves men, taking off their clothes, while women scream. We are fans.
[YouTube]