The House That Jack Built

🎥 #larsvontrier #thehousethatjackbuilt

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I mean, is anybody a fan of Lars von Trier, really? I happen to be intrigued by him, because if you can say one thing about him is that he’s never boring. Or, at least, even when he’s boring, it’s because he’s doing something outrageous to death. Speaking of outrageous and death, LVT has a new flick out, and you don’t have to walk out of a theater at Cannes to see it. “The House That Jack Built” is available for streaming on Amazon. Convenient! Nothing like home delivered endless slaughter of women and others in scenarios in which the victim fairly makes the killer kill, I always say. The movie’s best kill, if you will, is the first one, when Matt Dillon, aka Jack, kills Uma Thurman, who plays a really annoying woman. Because this is LVT, you’re not sure if you’re supposed to laugh hysterically, feel grim, or just hold on for the duration of the ride. But, boy, can Uma take a jack to the head. In any case, you can look at the movie as a series of vignettes in which Jack murders people, or you can look at it as a meditative study on the creative process as told through the persona of someone who happens to use murder as his tool d’art. Frankly, the mutterings of Jack to a Virgil stand-in are the most interesting parts of the movie, particularly when Jack waxes philosophical about how matter dictates its form in art. Don’t search #thehousethatjackbuilt on Instagram, like I did, if you don’t want to have the penultimate shocker spoiled for you. It’s crude, but this is LVT, isn’t it? I won’t mention the part with the windshield wiper; I mean, that’s just ugly (or is it?). We have come to expect this sort of thing from the enfant terrible of Dogme 95. What I could never quite resolve with Jack is if LVT is trolling masculinity or wallowing in it. Toxic masculinity is a fair thing in which to flail. To attempt to redux The Inferno, the place to which the film devolves, is a mistake. Stay in your am-I-a-misogynist-or-not lane, LVT! Alighieri you ain’t.

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You Must Bookmark This

“A Year in Reading: Lydia Kiesling” on The Millions is terrific. You have to read it. So do it.

I became obsessed with Norwegian and Swedish social policies. Back with Karl Ove, I underlined every part where he scoffed at Swedish sanctimony and hypocrisy. TRY LIVING HERE, I would scream in my head, to no one. I couldn’t help noting that this reading assignment was the corner office in the women’s work of thinking about men who are not thinking about you.

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You Make No Sense

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This is a photo I posted to Instagram of a transcript from video footage of me. I am the only one speaking in it. I have no recollection of saying most of it. Who are these marine organisms?

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You Should Wait for It

I have an essay forthcoming in the “Fine Lines” series on Longreads. It’s called “Ravaged,” and the series itself is about aging. This piece isn’t like anything I’ve written … in a while? … ever? After the last round of edits I did on it, I clicked send to the editor and then thought, Well, I’ll never get another date or another job after this gets published. But that’s probably a sign of good writing. Or at least writing at the risk of embarrassment. I’ll post a link here when it’s online.

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You're Not Reading This

After some time off, I have been blogging more lately. One thing that’s different is that I’m not posting links to these posts on social media; at least, not at the moment. In the deluge of the attention economy, is no attention the new high-value asset? I’ve spent most of my career pulling revenue from two threads: more creative work and more commercial work. I was able to be successful doing commercial work because I understood how to monetize attention and how to grow it. I did that sort of work for companies ranging from Time Warner to Procter & Gamble. The age-old question is: Does commercial work kill creative work? I never found that to be the case. I felt they were Siamese twins: inextricably linked. Whatever I was doing commercially tended to inform whatever I was doing creatively and vice versa; the relationship was symbiotic. What happens if you stop paying attention to how many people are paying attention? Obviously, this site has traffic stats, but I haven’t looked at them. If you write like no one is reading, if you speak like no one is listening, if you act like no one is watching, what happens next?

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What I'm Reading

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I’m reading Ted Conover’s Immersion: A Writer’s Guide to Going Deep. Highly recommend it. It’s a great guide to embedded journalism. Not for pussies.

Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."

I'm in a Library

#mood

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I’ve fallen back in love with libraries, as of late. I used to think they were graveyards filled with tombstones. Now I see they’re immortal. All those stories between the covers. My favorite libraries have shelves so big you have to turn a wheel to pry them a part and walk between them.

Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."

I'm Searching for Strippers

A journalist friend of mine is working on a story about strip club shut downs and policing in New Orleans. Are you a dancer or do you know someone who would be a good source for this story? Email me at susannahbreslin@gmail.com, and I'll connect you to her. #NOLA #NewOrleans

— Susannah Breslin (@susannahbreslin) November 27, 2018

A journalist friend of mine is working on a story about dancers in New Orleans. Got a lead? Know someone that would be good for her to talk to? Email me at susannahbreslin @ gmail, and I’ll connect you.

Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."

I'm Giving TM a Try

I just signed up for #transcendentalmeditation 🙏🏼

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Following in the footsteps of my personal heroes David Lynch and Ray Dalio, and on the heels of trouble with migraines, I’m going to give Transcendental Meditation a try. (Image from my Instagram feed)

Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."

I'm Looking Forward to Seeing "Vice"

I’m ready to see “Vice,” the Dick Cheney pic by Adam “The Big Short” McKay. There’s a lot of good stuff in this NYT profile of McKay, including this part:

“Recently, a sizable portion of the left has adopted surprising, relatively sanguine attitudes toward the Bush-Cheney years. I asked McKay, who directed a scathingly satirical 2009 Broadway show about Bush called, ‘You’re Welcome America,’ whether he saw his unsparing portrait of Cheney in ‘Vice’ — humanizing gestures notwithstanding — as a would-be corrective to liberal amnesia on this score. ‘I hope to God that it is,’ McKay said, nodding. ‘Really what that shows you is the number of people for whom government is just about appearance. Bush and Cheney just kept up the facade, whereas this administration doesn’t even remotely pretend. So when I hear people say, “I miss the days of Bush and Cheney,” what they’re really saying is, “I miss the days when people would at least pretend.”’” He went on: ‘Every time I see it, I shake my head, like, “You’ve got to be kidding me. The world economy collapsed, we had the greatest military fiasco in U.S. history apart from Vietnam.” When I hear “Trump makes you miss Bush,” I go, “There’s no question that Bush and Cheney are way ahead of him in terms of damage done.”’” He characterized such Bush nostalgia bluntly: “Now that my house is on fire, I long for when it was infested by bees.”’”

Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."

I'm Thinking About Investigative Journalism

As of late, I’ve had the opportunity to immerse myself in investigative journalism, and I have a few takeaways.

1. Investigative journalism is a boy’s club.

2. It is the responsibility of the men who run it to include women in it.

3. FOIAs are overrated.

4. Voice, storytelling, and serendipitous reporting are more important.

5. There isn’t one way to do it. There’s your way to do it.

6. People of color are excluded from it by the white men who run it.

7. You’re not a savior. You’re a reporter.

8. It isn’t easy.

9. Learn the tools and keep them in your toolbox.

10. If you can’t get in the front door, climb in a window.

Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."

Seeking Writers for Forbes Vices

As the editor of Forbes Vices, I oversee a team of contributors that cover the business of vice on the website. That includes the cannabis, gambling, firearms, smoking, drinking, and sex business. If you’re a writer with a track record of published work in established outlets covering those beats, drop me an email.

Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."

Recommended Binge Watch: Homecoming

“Homecoming” is an extremely weird and attractively disorienting new series on Amazon. What’s it about? That’s hard to explain. A woman with a troubled memory. A place that seems like it’s Florida, but who knows, really. A roomful of men who are looking for help that no one is sure they’re getting. It’s shot in two different ways that eventually converge. Julia Roberts is … curious, and Bobby Cannavale is … creepy. It seems boring at first, but, trust me, it’s not.

Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."

This Is Not a Selfie

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Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."

Goggle: How Not to Become a Male Porn Star

If you’re a longtime follower of my work, you know that I regularly receive emails from men who are interested in becoming performers in the adult movie industry. That is thanks to a Forbes post I wrote, “The Hardest Thing About Being a Male Porn Star,” which has over 2.1M views. The only advice I can give the latest emailer is to maybe try a search engine other than goggle.

Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."

Ratioed

Yesterday, I was ratioed because I suggested @DanRather should be president due to his ladybug tweet. I'd like to apologize and issue a correction. While perhaps Dan Rather should not be president, the next president should be elected based on his appreciation of ladybugs. 🐞 https://t.co/WzeVYt6niR

— Susannah Breslin (@susannahbreslin) November 25, 2018

Buy "The Tumor" — my short story that’s been called "a masterpiece of short fiction."

Trap Cake, Anyone?

These days, it's hard to find content that hasn't been covered everywhere else already. Sometimes when I'm looking for stories, I search random hashtags on Instagram. For some reason, Instagram is a place where you can still find curious things that haven't yet been seen, which is what everyone wants at the end of the day. In any case, I started out searching #crips, that took me to a #cripcake, and eventually I found gold in #gangcake. This is my latest profile on my Forbes blog, and it's about a woman who's running her own business, out of her garage -- like someone else -- and she isn't afraid to make the kind of "illicit" cakes that other more timid bakers won't.

"'I grew up with people who have always been in the trap life, who have always been associated with gangs, or what not,' she says. 'I'm not afraid of that type of lifestyle.' So far, she says, she hasn't turned down a cake."

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Porn Valley Stories

I'm happy to report that Ghost Town Literary Magazine has published two short stories from my PORN VALLEY STORIES collection: "God Hates Porn/Porn Hates God" and "Praying for Kali." In the former, a porn fan seeks redemption. In the latter, a porn star prays for reincarnation. Finding homes for these stories isn't easy. They're often rejected, due to their content, despite the fact that they're literary, not salacious. Thanks to Chad Sweeney for having the balls to publish them.

"GOD HATES PORN, the sign read. A late Nineties Toyota Corolla sped past, honking its horn, and Mortimer Wisconsin spun his sign around, hoping the driver would see the other side. PORN HATES GOD, the other side of the sign read. Mortimer pumped his sign up and down in the air. "

Buy "The Tumor"! It's a terrifying short story and "a masterpiece of short fiction."

Me on Instagram

👂🏼

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Do you follow me on Instagram? My account is here. Lots of photos on the regular.

Buy "The Tumor"! It's a terrifying short story and "a masterpiece of short fiction."

The Future Is Pornographic

I had such an interesting time visiting Pornhub's new art installation: Pornhub Nation. It's 2069, and a porn company rules all. The DMV is a fetish club, the president is a porn star, and a property extracted from a penis plant can make you live for hundreds of years.

"[T]he most interesting portion can be found in a small and intimate room at the top of a flight of stairs. There, a visitor can wander around and peer through the glass at a series of what look like plants from some oversexed nature of the future. From the leaves grow large adult toys in the shapes of phalluses. The effect is terrarium like, and the mood, to use West's word, is 'ethereal.' The pieces are artfully painted and luminous in the blacklight. Who knew that something so lovely could be found on a Wednesday morning in a near-empty club where the art has been funded not by the National Endowment for the Arts, but by a company devoted to profits and which delivers graphic content to the masses?"

Buy "The Tumor," a terrifying short story and "a masterpiece of short fiction."