What I'm Listening to: The D.O.C.'s "It's Funky Enough"
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Books I Read: Alice's Adventures in Wonderland: Tove Jansson Edition
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland: Tove Jansson Edition combines two of my favorites from childhood: a marvel of literature and the creator of the Moomins universe. So I was delighted to learn this book united the two. Rereading Lewis Carroll’s text was illuminating—how willy-nilly he is with language and imagery and how much magical conjuring happens when a creator allows pretty much anything to sprout from his brain. I adore Jansson’s images for the text. They are more vibrant and beguiling than the originals. My favorite illustration features Alice peering over the lip of the mushroom to consider the caterpillar.
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Makeup
An adult actress applies her makeup, Canoga Park, 2009. For more of my photos, follow me on Instagram.
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Books I Read in May: Favorite and Least Favorite
This year, I decided to read only books with pictures. In May, I read seven books. (You can find all my short book reviews here.) My favorite book was David Lynch’s Catching the Big Fish, which has no pictures but I made an exception because I’m a big Lynch fan: “My favorite part is when he talks about Mulholland Drive’s box and key and says, ‘I don’t have a clue what those are.’” My least favorite book was Charles Burns’ Caprice, which, although interesting and enjoyable, was a collection of images with no narrative: “The themes are classically Burnsian: girls in trouble, blobular creatures, impossible landscapes.”
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Fuck You, Pay Me #22: May the Work Be With You
Pink-haired mannequin, Hollywood, Calif. | Photo credit: Susannah Breslin
This is part 22 of Fuck You, Pay Me, an ongoing series of posts on writing, editing, and publishing.
May was a busy month for me. Among other things, I published a short story I wrote 30 years ago for the first time online, I visited the grave site of one of my heroes, I checked out the freaks at an art gallery show, I saw a correlation between pornography and Cronenberg, I overshared in my newsletter, a TV show asked if they could use my photos, one of my photos was accepted to be in a group art show later this year, I was part of a variety show in a hipster enclave, I read a few books, and I worked on my novel.
REVISITING “THE APARTMENT” — I published a short story I wrote around 30 years ago, “The Apartment,” on my website. The story was first published in an anthology, Chick Lit 2: No Chick Vics, and is about a man and a woman and what it’s like when your entire relationship is built on secrets and passive-aggressive actions. Here’s an excerpt: “Her fingers were moving around and he could now see her in the hall through his own peephole and she was undoing her pants with her other hand.” I made the illustration by taking a photo of my own peephole, adding an eyeball in Instagram Stories, and taking a screen shot of that. Read it here.
GOODNIGHT, MR. LYNCH — I was heartbroken when David Lynch, who is one of my favorite directors, died in January. So much so that I didn’t visit the makeshift memorial at Bob’s Big Boy that was spontaneously created for him. When I learned that his cremains had been buried at Hollywood Forever, I decided to make the pilgrimage. I brought wonderfully fragrant lilies and a card that stated how much he and his work meant to me. In February, I started doing Transcendental Meditation through the David Lynch Foundation, which has changed my life. So his influence lives on.
FREAKS & FRIENDS — I like art, and one of my favorite galleries in Los Angeles is David Zwirner. This month, I checked out Cataclysm: The 1972 Diane Arbus Retrospective Revisited. The show was terrific. When I was a kid, I acquired a copy of the 1972 monograph, which includes the same images as in the Zwirner show. As a young person, I was dazzled by her work. The subjects were bizarre and freakish, too big and too exposed, doubles of one another or clearly troubled. I’m sure her eye shaped my own and what I understood a creative person could be: a fearless woman who considered those from whom others looked away. The show is up until June 21. Give it a look if you’re in town.
PULP | PORN — The other day I was re-watching Eastern Promises, which is one of my all-time favorite movies. In one shot, I noticed a striking similarity to the look of a young blonde curled on herself and on her side to the cover of Pulp’s This Is Hardcore. The former was released in 2007. The latter was released 1998. The first was Cronenberg’s vision. The second was Peter Saville’s and John Currin’s vision. To compare and contrast the two, I made a diptych of the images side by side. What do you think? Was Cronenberg influenced by Saville and Currin? Who knows. I’d love to know. If you know, let me know.
IT’S GIVING TMI — In my newsletter, I wrote about the time I visited the most exclusive sex club in the world and what that had to do with my mother. A snippet from my experience at the one-percent sex cub in a downtown Los Angeles penthouse: “I drifted between the rooms. In a bedroom I noticed the walls were covered in a type of luxurious fabric or leather. A three-way was entangled on the bed. A half-circle of onlookers stood around the threesome, ogling. I went to the window. The red, glowing neon sign on a nearby building promised JESUS SAVES.” Subscribe.
TV IS CALLING — Recently I got an email from a woman who was interested in using some of my photos in a television show. She wanted to see a certain number of them with a specific theme. I emailed those to her. After that, the show’s art director selected another grouping from those I’d sent. The photos will be used as part of a set on the show. Of course, I was paid for the use of my photos. I’ll share more when the next season airs.
NOT-A-PHOTOGRAPHER — Speaking of my photography, I saw online that a photographer I like was putting together a group art show. I sent her one of the photos from my ongoing L.A. Sex documentary photography project for consideration. She liked the image and will be including it in the show. I believe this is the first time one of my photos will be displayed and (hopefully) sold in this way, so I’m excited about that. I’ll have more information when the group show is announced.
READING IN HIGHLAND PARK — Have you heard of Space Stories? It’s a variety show at The Pop-Hop books co-op in Highland Park. I wanted to be involved, so I sent in a fictional short story I wrote (that will be published in an unrelated online magazine this fall). I was picked to be part of the show. I hadn’t read my fiction in public in awhile, but it was a lovely time, with an appreciative, engaged crowd. I wish Los Angeles had more literary events, as there’s a writerly population here that needs it. The next time you’re in Highland Park, visit The Pop-Hop. They do lots of neat stuff.
BOOK REVIEWS — This year I decided to only read books with pictures. This month I read seven books. One didn’t have pictures, but I made an exception because it was David Lynch’s Catching the Big Fish. The book is a collection of musings, reflections, and insights into the Lynchian process. One of the short vignettes is “The Box and The Key,” and the entirety of it is: “I don’t have a clue what those are.” If you don’t get the reference, you should watch Muholland Drive. More of my short book reviews: Books I Read.
A NOVEL IDEA — I’m writing a novel set in Porn Valley. The book takes place over the course of a single day. Its focus is a man who is involved in the adult movie business. This project is based on my nearly 30 years of writing about the porn industry. I guess you could say this novel is my Ulysses, or put another way the San Fernando Valley is my Yoknapatawpha County. The narrative winds its way through many of the diverse cities and communities within the Valley, from Burbank to Panorama City, Sherman Oaks to Tarzana, Chatsworth to [redacted]. I’m looking forward to sharing it.
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Lady Love
The storefront of Lady Love on Hollywood Boulevard. For more of my photographs, follow me on Instagram.
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What I'm Watching: Alex Consani on Fashion Neurosis
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Harvard House
The Harvard House Motel in Hollywood, Calif. at night. For more of my photographs, follow me on Instagram.
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Chronically Dr. Dre
Earlier this year, I submitted a proposal to do a 33 1/3 book on Dr. Dre’s The Chronic. The 33 1/3 book series is published by Bloomsbury and each slim volume is a close study of an album. I proposed doing one on Dr. Dre’s The Chronic. Recently, the editors shared all the artists that were proposed this year, which you can see here. In any case, I’ll learn if my proposal was accepted in June or July. I’ll share that info on this blog.
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Call Me Definitely
In my latest newsletter, we’ll take the call, Diddy and male escorts, an adult star gets sentenced, a strip club closes its doors, the Cannes Film Festival screens kink, the Playboy Mansion undergoes a reno, and more.
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Triptych (Highland Park)
Scenes from a recent evening in Highland Park in L.A. For more of my photographs, follow me on Instagram.
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Books I Read: Caprice
Caprice by Charles Burns is a small thing. It’s not really a comic book, per se. And it’s certainly not a graphic novel. It’s a collection of fictional comic book covers, apparently. The themes are classically Burnsian: girls in trouble, blobular creatures, impossible landscapes. It’s an interesting journey through a curious mind.
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My Photo in an Upcoming Group Show
A photo of mine will be part of a group art show later this year. I’ll have more information when it’s available.
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Books I Read: Persepolis
I wish I hadn’t waited so long to read Marjane Satrapi’s Persepolis because it is incredible. A feminist Maus, it takes a young girl’s story as its subject to examine the broad themes of identity, empowerment, and resilience. The drawings are simple, but the impact is powerful. A must-read for all, including young people.
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Take a Picture
Recently, someone reached out to me about using some of my photos in a TV show. I’ll post more about that when it’s available—if my work makes the final cut. For more of my photos, follow me on Instagram.
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What I'm Listening to: My Morning Jacket's "River Road"
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It's Real and It's Not
Adult movie set, Canoga Park, Calif., 2009 (Photo credit: Susannah Breslin)
In my latest newsletter, I wrote about writing a short story about the adult movie industry. Read and subscribe.
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Books I Read: Heart of Darkness
I picked up a copy of Peter Kuper’s graphic novel adaptation of Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness for a few reasons. I’m a fan of Kuper’s work, which I admire for its ability to express strong emotions in a terrifying way, which seemed fitting for this project. I’ve read Conrad’s novella and appreciate many things about it, including its unique framing structure. And Apocalypse Now, which was inspired by Conrad’s book, is one of my favorite movies. I found this retelling riveting, spooky, and considered. I guess that last word is sort of a strange thing to say, but Kuper’s version brought something new to the material for me. Perhaps it was the illustrated strife between natives and invaders, or the intensity of this Kurtz’s having “gone native,” or maybe it was the monstrous depiction of what happens to one when one travels far enough up the river. Either way, I loved it.
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Triptych (Girls & Boys)
A Van Nuys estate sale, fake John Cena, and Crazy Girls. For more of my photographs, follow me on Instagram.
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I'm Reading at The Pop-Hop
I’m happy to share I’ll be reading on Saturday, May 24, 2025, at 7 pm as part of Space Stories: A Variety Show at The Pop-Hop Books Co-op in Highland Park, Los Angeles. I’ll be reading an excerpt from “Topical Matters,” an unpublished short story I wrote about a sexagenarian who discovers an adult movie is being filmed in the house behind his house in the San Fernando Valley. You can buy event tickets here.
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