Cronenberg vs Pulp
L: Eastern Promises, director: David Cronenberg, 2007
R: This Is Hardcore/Pulp, art directors: Peter Saville & John Currin, 1998
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Meta L.A.
A storefront in Beverly Hills makes for a meta moment. For more of my photographs, follow me on Instagram.
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Quote of the Day: Picasso (Vague)
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Susie Bright Master Class: Substack for Writers
I’m really looking forward to taking Susie Bright’s Master Class: Substack for Writers Seminar 2: Substack for Veteran Writers. Susie’s been a huge hero of mine for decades, and I can’t wait to learn more from her.
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Books I Read: The Five Lives of Hilma af Klint
Although I was aware of Hilma af Klint’s work, I didn’t know much about her until I read The Five Lives of Hilma af Klint by Philipp Deines. The oversized book features five chapters of visual biography of the artist’s life, from her privileged upbringing to her spiritual journey to her secret queerness. I recommend this book to anyone who is an artist, who wants to feel inspired by a woman who wasn’t “discovered” until long after her death.
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Mr. Lynch
David Lynch’s plot at Hollywood Forever Cemetery. For more of my photographs, follow me on Instagram.
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Books I Read: Catching the Big Fish
I decided I was only going to read books with pictures in them this year, but I made an exception for David Lynch’s Catching the Big Fish: Meditation, Consciousness, and Creativity. It’s such a special, delightful, inspiring book. Narrative is irrelevant. Making sense is beside the point. What you get out of it is what you bring to it. This assemblage of fragments, stories, and word pictures combine into a coherent consideration of how to think about life, art, and craft. My favorite part is when he talks about Mulholland Drive’s box and key and says, “I don’t have a clue what those are.” The truth is something greater, less tangible. I loved this book.
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Apartment: A Short Story
Illustration by Susannah Breslin
Nearly 30 years ago, I had my first short story published in an anthology. The story was “Apartment,” and it appeared in Chick Lit 2. Now, I’ve published the story online for the first time. This work of fiction features boobs, a dog, and a man who may be losing his mind. If you’re upset by adult themes, don’t read it.
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What I'm Listening to: The English Beat's "Mirror in the Bathroom"
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Books I Read in April: Favorite and Least Favorite
This year, I decided to read only books with pictures. In April, I read six books. (You can find all my short book reviews here.) My favorite book was Chantal Montellier’s Social Fiction, “a feminist 1984, a dark vision of the search for love in the midst of a dystopia, a collection of comics in which being human is a crime and death lurks around every corner.” My least favorite book was Tina Horn’s SFSX (Safe Sex) Volume 1: “The story lacked a central character with depth and nuance with which I could connect.”
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What I'm Watching (Marina)
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Books I Read: City of Glass
I’ve read the graphic novel adaptation of Paul Auster’s City of Glass many times. Every time, I marvel at its simplicity, its willingness to take the narrative in daring directions, the way it makes storytelling meta.
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What I'm Listening to: Black Rebel Motorcycle Club's "US Government"
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Fuck You, Pay Me #21: How to Write a Novel About Porn Valley
This is part 21 of “Fuck You, Pay Me,” an ongoing series of posts on writing, editing, and publishing.
Currently, I’m writing a novel set in Porn Valley. For the sake of this post, let’s call it Untitled Porn Valley Novel. (In fact, the book has a title, but let’s deem it untitled for this post.) Since finding myself on an adult movie set for the first time nearly three decades ago, I’ve been searching for the best way to tell this story about this curious place. Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way.
Immerse yourself in your subject. I haven’t lived in Los Angeles the entire time I’ve been writing about the adult industry, but I’ve lived here quite a bit. Initially, I lived in Los Feliz, which is on the east side of Los Angeles, not in the San Fernando Valley. Now, I live in the Valley, which is more of an embed. When I’m writing something in the novel and I get stuck, I can drive to where that section takes place and get inspired. The novel is twelve chapters, and each chapter takes place in a different part of the Valley over the course of a single day. That said, the Porn Valley I’ve created is a work of fiction. It’s my Yoknapatawpha County.
See what you haven’t seen. As a journalist writing about the porn industry, I’ve seen a lot of things. Suffice to say, when Martin Amis described the porn business as a “rough trade,” he was not incorrect. Sometimes, the manufacturing of pornography is a space in which things get extreme. (Take, for example, “500 Men. 1 Woman. Get in Line.”) I can’t unsee what I’ve seen. So what am I to do with these scenes in my mind? These real-life experiences have shaped my work as a novelist. As a reporter, I bear witness. As a fiction writer, I recreate what I have seen anew. The process is alchemical. Something gets transformed.
Write it in pieces. The only way I was able to move through the manuscript productively was to write it in 500-word chunks. Each of the twelve chapters is approximately 5,000 words, and each chapter has 10 sections of approximately 500 words. Instead of “writing a novel,” I’m meeting a word goal. Attaining these smaller word goals was the way to write a book-length work. Maybe that method works for you, or maybe it doesn’t. But it works for me. Ultimately, I may merge those 10 sections in the chapter into one continuous whole for the chapter. Or I may not. That’s a question for revision, not for creating.
Do a bad job. As a perfectionist, I can get stuck on getting things right. The bar is set high, and I can get bogged down in trying to meet it. People always say to write a messy first draft; the idea of doing that makes me want to claw out my eyes. It’s almost intolerable. Eventually, though, I was able to realize that some chapters would be tighter than others, and some chapters would be more exploratory than others. Take it from Robert Frost: “the best way out is always through.” Or John Swartzwelder: “Since writing is very hard and rewriting is comparatively easy and rather fun, I always write my scripts all the way through as fast as I can, the first day, if possible.” Or William Faulkner: “The main thing is—is to get it down.”
Become someone else. I tried to write this novel in many different ways, and I could never quite get it right. For years, the main character eluded me. Then I wrote a short story about a character I fell in love with, and I realized that this person was the main character in my novel. This time around, the main character in my novel is a man, and that works for me. For as long as I am writing my novel, I am someone else: who is the opposite of me and very much me, who is totally lost and hoping to be found, who is wrestling with their demons and seeking transcendence. In reality, he’s my doppelgänger, but in the world of fantasy, he’s all mine.
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Books I Read: Why Art?
I adore Why Art? by Eleanor Davis. It’s hard to describe what this book is. A comic book? A book of art? A rumination on why art matters and how it shapes us? It also would make for a great gift. Buy a copy!
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Black on Black
A black muscle car in Magnolia Park, Burbank, Calif. For more of my photographs, follow me on Instagram.
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Books I Read: SFSX (Safe Sex) Volume 1
I hoped I’d like SFSX (Safe Sex) Volume 1 by Tina Horn because there was a lot to like here: the San Francisco Bay Area where I grew up, an exploration of a futuristic world in which kink is pathologized, a peek at what’s behind the walls of Kink.com. But the enterprise fell flat. The story lacked a central character with depth and nuance with which I could connect. I also felt like the attempts to psychoanalyze the whys behind kink were underdeveloped, as if declaring oneself pro-kink was enough. A comic should be more than a political statement; it should be a narrative into which one can get swept up. So not a hit for me.
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500 Men. 1 Woman. Get in Line.
On Substack, I reproduced a story I wrote in 1999 about that time I went to The World’s Biggest Gangbang III.
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I Get Email (Perfect in Romance)
Over a decade ago, I wrote about the hardest thing about being a male porn star for Forbes.com. Since then, I’ve received over 1,000 emails from aspiring woodsmen. This one claims he is “perfect in romance.” [More]
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What I'm Watching (Miniatures)
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